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This article, Sportacus, is property of Squirrely the Horrible. |
| Sportacus | |
|---|---|
 Sportacus protesting against late term abortion and abortion in general. | |
| Nickname(s) | That jerk, blue baboon/buffon, Blue jerk, Douchebag, Blue guy, Sporty, nature guy |
| Appears in | None |
| Rank | Some vigilante of an Icelandic village |
| Affiliations | Stephanie, Stinky, Ziggy, that black kid, Key-Two |
| Status | Ded |
| Killed By | Guðni Th. Jóhannesson |
| Birth | 18 February, 61 BH |
| Death | 17 October, 21 AH |
| Weapon | None |
| Voice Actor | Magnús Scheving |
- "I didn't bring any junk food!"
- — Sportacus when accused of bringing chips to the plate by Stephanie
Sportacus (real name Maximus Spatchcock) is some athletic jerk dressed in all blue (like Sonic) who does stunts n' sith around the Icelandic city of LazyTown. Despite his cringy athleticism and boring personality, he has some sorta cult following in the town and everyone looks up to him. This is odd because everyone in that town is suppose to be lazy af. He is against everything good there is and pushes fruits and veggies down the town's kids everyday and says that's the only food they can eat, for he is some bible thumping super goody-two-shoes and environmentalist of sorts.
He lives in a smelly zeppelin above the Lazy Town where he eats, sleeps, siths and pisses but does all other sith out in the town.
He has a lot of right-wing political views and claims christianity is the best while saying that immigrants over the border should be shot and their boats should be holed so the fuakers can drown.
Death[]
Sportacus was killed by Iceland's President, Guðni Thorlacius Jóhannesson, outside the parliament where he was protesting against abortion and the LGBT's with a freaking Confederate American cannon and threatened to blow the parliament up, like some kinda Gay Fox. Jóhannesson had enough of the Blue jerk and went down there to confront him, eventually shooting him down three times and was praised as a hero as of result, with everyone claiming he'll be winning the third freaking term, even.
Trivia[]
- One of the reasons why this blue baboon was so much against junk food was because he was actually, as cratsy as it sounds, allergic to it. Das rite, once as a child he ate about two gingerbread cookies and licked a bit of a lollipop and had to puke all of the sugar out after a while, while getting red in the face, balls, stomak, neck and having red wrinkles all over the face as well. Eventually, Sportacus healed after laying in bed for about 4 months, but I doubt he knew that not everyone is allergic to sweets, like he is. Nevertheless, it is quite possible he knew this but pushed his anti-candy agenda down everyone's throats anyway.
- He thinks Iceland and the rest of Europe should apply Islamic and Sharia laws with a xistian twist against women, minorities, like LGBT+ community and abortion.
Political Views[]
- Abortion: Anti
- Racial equality: Neutral, tries to be Pro when around those black kids
- LGBT rights: Anti
- Subsidised healthcare: Pro
- Gun control: Anti
- Ideology: Far to moderate right
- Economic Policy: Crony Capitalism
- Religious Policy: Fundamental/Evangelical Christianity
- War Policy: Anti Military
- Tax cuts for the wealthy: Anti
- Protecting the environment: Pro AF