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This article, SpongeBob SquarePants, is property of Customimage. |
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This article, SpongeBob SquarePants, is property of Demon Redwood. |
- "I most certainly am ready... Ready to get it on!"
- — SpongeBob in SpongeBine's Sex Horizon
SpongeBob SquarePants (real name: Robert Square-shaped Trousers) is the main protagonist and central character of TV show of the same name. He is anthropomorphic yellow kitchen sponge who lives in Bikini Bottom. His reason for sentience is the fact that nuclear weapons were once tested near Bikini Bottom and the radioactive energies gave him sentience. It also heightened the awarenesses of his friends, all animals. He works as a fry cook in the Krusty Krab. He is always very cheerful, regardless of what is happening around him (even if a fuaking city is on fire) and likes to spend a lot of time with his best friend, Patrick, who is slightly more dumber than he is. Their behaviour often annoys or causes problems for Squidward Tentacles, who is their grumpy neighbour and co-worker. SpongeBob is and always will be, the star of the show, and he is one of the most popular fictional characters ever made (similar to Jesus of Nazareth), in the Western world anyway. In one episode, it is revealed that he knows of Count Orlok and of his specie, but how this can be is a pisstery. Despite never directly stated, since the cartoon is meant for kids, SpongeBob loves to watch sea porn (we would just call it regular porn here) on his TV, computer and loves dirty magazines and in one episode, he was even secretly wanking it off in the bathroom of the Krusty Krab when he asked to be excused to the lavatory. He does not want his pet snail, Gary, to know this though and doesn't advise him to watch porno... ever. This is due to SpongeBob being the representation of the sin of Lust. Despite this, SpongeBob is a virgin and probably forever will be, although he sometimes dreams of having sex with Sandy Cheeks, but he knows she is far too good-looking for him and too much to handle for him anyway.
Despite his annoying personality and less than an average intellectual level, SpongeBob wears a fancy white shirt, red tie, poo-brown trousers, black belt and black loafers, which shine bright, really. His working gear consists of different outfit all together, of course. For all the lack of his brains, he seems to prefer classy clothes.
Book Smarts and Street Smarts[]
- Book Smarts: Lower than average
- Street Smarts: Naive