Sandy Cheeks

This article, Sandy Cheeks, is property of KGBSpetsnaz.

Alexandra J. "Sandy" Cheeks (born November 17, 1981/19 BH, which made her 18 in 1999 or 1 BH; when the show first aired) is a squirrel who is the only land creature and rodent of the main cast and seen living in Bikini Bottom on the show SpongeBob SquarePants (humans have also been seen in extended media such as movies, video games and other media. Three circus monkeys from England have also been featured on the show as prestigious gentlemen who contracted Sandy to design and create a piece of technology for them). She usually wears an astronaut-like suit while walking around Bikini Bottom to breathe while wearing a purple and green bikini inside her tree dome. Alongside Squidward Tentacles, she is the only normal one on the show. She is from Houston, Texas and has a twin brother Randy and 2 parents named Ma and Pa, naturally, but no known real names. She is an expert at science despite her religion, karate, and Texas culture. She is also an excellent singer and guitarist, while she also plays a banjo.

Sandy's True Intentions[]

First of all, here is the world's oldest story: The Epic of Gilgamesh. In the story, a selfish "hero" named Gilgamesh killed a monster who guarded the Cedar Forest named Humbaba and became a god from the five relics being sucked into him. Many cruel leaders such as Julius Caesar, Napoleon Bonaparte, Adolf Hitler and Richard Nixon have searched for Humbaba. Not only them, but the fictional ones, like Shao Kahn, Emilio Barzini, Olaf Tutchenko and Chernobog searched for it as well. However, they all dug in the wrong place! Why? Because they all looked in Mesopotamia, where they thought it was but the Cedar Forest is actually underwater in Bikini Bottom! That's why Sandy Cheeks bases her operations there. She vows to obtain the five relics, become a goddess, reinstall the Confederacy and form an alliance with Moonman while also resurrecting Robert E. Lee. Once her goal has been obtained, the Confederacy (especially Texas) shall rule the world once and for all!

Sandy flying[]

This here is a video of the REAL Sandy Cheeks stealing a small toy of an airplane for a few moments in her home-place of Texas. Despite this crime, the Texas Department of Public Safety has not acknowledged it, probably because she’s a squirrel and decided on her own accord to leave Texas for Bikini Bottom to study creatures found under the sea. Sandy Cheeks might’ve worked at the Johnson Space Center in her hometown of Houston, so it wouldn’t be shocking if she has a pilot license or any permit that gives her permission for Aeronautical travel… or she just decided to attempt to send herself, SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick to the Moon once (while this failed, she herself ended up on the Moon and inspected Neil Armstrong's footprints while SpongeBob and Patrick hunted the good folk of Bikini Bottom since the duo was under the impression that they were on the Moon and those they encountered were aliens, which included Gary the Snail and Squidward Tentacles to name a few. Also, the two dimwits had no idea who Neil Armstrong was anyway). As mentioned, Sandy is a squirrel so NASA probably wouldn’t hire her, but squirrels in Houston, Texas are a rarity in itself, and a squirrel like Sandy from the Houston area would be too good to pass up.