This article, RDR: Seth La Valley VS Rj Peart, is property of Billy cougar. |
This article, RDR: Seth La Valley VS Rj Peart, is property of Demon Redwood. |
Two US of A sheriffs Seth La Valley and Roger Peart Jr. are going to have a battle, soon. Now they're just going to insult each other in the Saloon of Goldtown.
Hmmm, according to Seth, Peart is one ugly SOB, too poor to even shoot, while Peart is just soyjaking himself in there, saying how cowardly Seth in fact is.
Who won!!?
Who's next!?
U decide! Seth La Valley: 15 points Roger Peart: 22 points
Second phase[]
During this second phase, the two boys in blue had to draw out their guns on Golden Town streets and it ended with Roger Peart pulling his out faster and killin' Seth. Poor o' Seth, eh? I preferred RJ anyway.
Fact is that Rj was always the wiser of the two sheriffs, even though he hated his job and always drank in the Silver Saloon, complaining about the state of law enforcement in Sexas. Seth was inexperienced against Peart and so, well, he had to lose.
After winning, Peart walked up to Seth, spat on his corpse and later proceeded to stuff some rotten apples into his mouth and then banged his wife in the as.
Rap Battle[]
Here is the rap version of the showdown, in the second timeline or some sith. Both mofos have 2 verses. Oh, Rj's background was the wilderness of Indian Hills, while Seth stood in front of the Sheriff's Office in Silver's.
Rj Peart[]
Carl, stay back! This is gonna get bad.
I'm about to show this lab rat how to be a real dad.
I'm a grade-A MC who'll ruin your A-1 day.
'Cause Sheriff Peart rhymes dirtier than my armpit stains or my sweaty butthole!
I'm a post-apocalyptic cop who's got a lot of issues.
Pop a cap in you and splatter your brain, your wife'll miss you.
Cooking up blue sky and bigger lies for the Marshal.
Hatching up little schemes like a Diane MacGyver.
You tore your family apart, limb from limb!
Where I live, it happens psychologically sin from sin!
So write this down in your pancakes so you won't forget it.
I kill zombies that are better men than you before breakfast.
Seth LaValley[]
I don't know what you think I've done!
But if we were to battle, I've already won (puts his hat back on).
Ask Guy Percival: you don't wanna face-off against me!
Maybe you'd be in a barrel and I'll make a dude smoothie! Huaggh!
Your sense of duty gets our group into some deep doody!
Always getting saved by some samurai Putin! Huh!?
I'm a kingpin, secretly cooking crystal in the middle of the day.
Having dinner by the pool with the DEA!
Run you over with my Aztec; PGA!
If you ever try to stop La Valley gettin' paid!
Here's a hot dose, let me watch you choke on the truth!
You look up to me like I'm a pizza on the roof!!!
'Cause you're a loser! A failure to our whole entire crew.
I've seen Elton Woosley handle criminals better than who!? You.
Peart[]
CORAL! CARL! I said stay back with the others. (Peart pushes Carl away)
While I finish this biatch like you finished your mother.
You ain't the danger to me, Sef, so knock all you want.
I'll watch you get eaten on my fuaking front lawn. (Smiles)
La Valley[]
Your monsters don't frighten me, and you (looks at the zombie) can't bite me! (Zombie walks past him)
I'll be standing right here, in my tighty Drew whities! Huaggh! (Pukes)
I'll bury you faster than your partner stole your whole wife!
No one saw Shane comin', but he came to your life! (If you get my meanin'?)