This article, Petardo Mauritti, is property of Paul W. Barrel. |
Petardo Mauritti | |
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Rank | Runner/Sprinter in the athletic field |
Affiliations | The Aero Club, ![]() |
Status | Alive |
Sex | ![]() |
Height | 177 cm (5'9) |
Weight | 75kg (165 lbs) |
Hair | Blond |
Eyes | Brown |
Race | Caucasian-Mediterranean |
- "That's right, amico, I am the fastest Italian alive! Petardo Mauritti!"
- — Petardo represents himself with his ego
Petardo Mauritti is an Italian athlete and MVP superstar with a thing for red pyjamas and western weaponry. He is fastest runner in the Italian sports club known as the Aero Club and participated in the Olympic games of 21 AH, 22 AH and 24 AH or 2021, 2022 and 2024 and will participate in his home country of Italy in the 26 AH Olympics, hoping to win some medals and make his country proud.
Info[]
Mauritti was born in Rome on September 14, 1981/19 BH, to father a carpenter and mother a web designer. His parents divorced when Petardo was two, and Petardo stayed in Rome with his father. Although raised a Catholic, as it usually is in Italy, Petardo became interested in the Ancient Roman history while in his teen's and decided to become a Roman Pagan instead. He was known for taking photos of the ancient Roman emperors around Italy and posted that sith on his FB profile, bragging about his country's past success. After borrowing some money from his brother (Petardo's uncle), his father had enough money to send him to attend the New School Rome in Via della Camilluccia, which was a private high school.
After dropping out of a sithy college, Petardo decided to focus his future on something he was always good at, regardless of what class or grade he was: Sports, particularly running. He also started having a thing for being lassoed up and wearing red pyjamas around the same time, which many may find odd, but maybe he just had a weird bondage or pyjama fetish?
After studying some of Usain Bolt's videos of him running and analysing the crap out of them for around 2 and a half hours, Petardo decided to step his game up and started sprinting around Rome's coliseum. He would ran around the coliseum, bounded up and until his feet would give him up and he'd fall down, face-first. But he knew that he needed to push himself to and through his limits if he wishes to be the best runner in all of Italia.
He would later join the Aero Club, being a honourably member of the said club and became an elite member in the sprinter's circle, gaining some pupils of his own along the way and teaching them to run.
In order to prove that he's no joke, Petardo would start dressing up in nothing else than red pyjamas to run around and put a firecracker backwards inside of his butthole to run faster. One could say he was cheating, but since the firecracker would be the other way around inside his as, no one would have to worry about cheating and lightening the mofo up. This soon became his signature look.
Olympic games[]
Petardo participated in the Olympic games of 21 AH, 22 AH and 24 AH, winning a gold medal in 22 AH, silver on in 21 AH and a bronze one in 24 AH, all in the art of sprinting and running. Like always, he ran around the field in red PJ's, tied up and had his famous firecracker up his butt. While people laughed, he just ran.
Joining Viktor Horrible[]
After the conclusion of the 24' Olympics and returning home, Petardo was approached in Rome by Viktor Horrible himself and asked to join his cult as a sprinter and cruiserweight mascot. Petardo accepted the offer without delay, as he knows he can make a lot of money being one of Vik's goons.
One of his more humorous jobs would involving bugging the hell out of Abigail Peppercorn and then running away, basically escaping with a firecracker up his buttocks as always, while she would only taunt and whine that her plans have once again been foiled and her poopaganda posters ended up in the garbage.
Trivia[]
- He claims his male ancestors were centurions under Emperor Nero while his female ones were prostitutes in brothels.
- His name is a joke on his character, as Petardo Mauritti roughly means "having a firecracker up your butt" in south Slavic languages.
- He sometimes wears a fake prop revolver around his waist to give himself a more western look.
- He owns 5 pairs of the same red pyjamas.
- Other than running, Petardo also likes to pretend that he can fly.
- On his infobox pic and gallery, it looks like he's at the Mould Farm or some sith.