Jason1980

This article, Jason1980, is property of KGBSpetsnaz.

Jason1980
Biographical information
Real name	Jason Vito Malinowski
Also known as	Jason1980, beardo, Jay, cringe guy, Brony boi, many more nicknames better not said, Amogus guy
Nationality	Italian-Polish-American
Born	July 11, 1980
Age	43
Status	Alive
Birthplace	Sacramento, California, United States
Physical description
Eye colour	Dark brown
Hair colour	Dark brown
Ethnicity	Caucasian-Mediterranean-Slavic
Height	6’0” (183 cm)
Weight	347 lbs (157 kg)
Career, affiliations and family information
Enemies	Amogus, anyone who criticizes him
Occupation(s)	Internet cartoon critic and reviewer
Video Games, Movies and Cartoons information
Main appearance(s) (Video Games)	Teen Titans Go! (in the very last episode as the main antagonist)

"You obviously don’t know any stupid slut women cuz they ALL have HIGH standards I don’t have a 6 pack or a chiseled jawline I’m just an average male. 350lbs, have to wear diapers cuz of IBS, horrible acne that I don’t try to get rid of because it’s fawking normal (same goes for B.O. I’m not putting harmful chemical stuff on my face or under my arms), and a classy as fawk hat. Yet these slutty biches STILL are too good for me."

— Jason1980

Jason1980 was born July 11, 1980, hence his name. He’s a 43-year-old basement dweller who is also a brony. There’s a possibility that he has Asperger’s syndrome as well. However, he most likely doesn't. In actuality, he's probably just some immature incel who doesn't have the guts to admit it. He has suffers from irritable bowel syndrome. He also still lives with his parents and literally does nothing but watch cartoons and rant on them, akin to the Mysterious Mr. Enter. This man child is also an avid fan of Steven Universe, Gravity Falls, PowerPuff Girls, Star vs. the Forces of Evil, The Loud House, My Little Pony, Regular Show, Adventure Time, The Amazing World of Gumball, HiHi Puffy Ami Yumi, Rick and Morty, Bob's Burgers and the 2003-2006 Teen Titans.

He’s a firm believer that “cartoons have to have morals in order to be good” just like any other man child reviewer on the internet. He is also a cringy food and drink reviewer. Carl Degrasse Dawkins, Algernon Papadopoulos, Melvin O'Connor, Fatty Johnson, Jacob Schmitt, Peter Kowalski, Arthur Pence, and Daniel Clary are big fans of him.

By someone's anonymous data, it's revealed that he lives with his father, grandmother (who has osteoporosis), uncle, older brother, bulldog, cat, nephew and younger cousins (one of them has a crippling depression while the other is homosexual) in the suburban region of Sacramento, California and has a very small net worth. He is also of Italian and Polish descent.

He has a crush on Lola Lombardi, Pinky Gauthier, Veronica Lodge, Olga Fonda, Nina Dobrev, Torrey DeVitto, Crystal Reed, Shelley Hennig, and Christian Serratos. Too bad none of them would accept him in a heartbeat. He has a strange fetish for Mediterranean, Eastern European, Latina, southern Irish, Francophone, Jewish, Armenian, Georgian, and Asian women.

He also makes collaborations with other reviewers and occasional reviews on board games, video games, mobile games, comic books, flash games, manga, commercials, public service announcements, closing logos, anime and action figures and enjoys collecting them. He still plays on the websites called Webkinz, Club Penguin, Poptropica, and FunBrain, even though all of those websites are pretty outdated.

Just the other day, his older brother took him, his younger cousins and his nephew to see the new Teen Titans Go! movie. His brother, cousins, and nephew gave it approval but Jason didn’t like it at all. Once the movie was over and they walked out, Jason said “I’ll have you know, I’m gonna be the first to review it!” His nephew said “Yeah, yeah. That’s what you say about every movie.”

The cartoon he has done the most reviews on is SpongeBob SquarePants followed closely by Family Guy and Teen Titans Go respectively. He refers to SpongeBob SquarePants episodes as “classic”, “middle” and “modern” as if we’re talking about Picasso. He only likes the first category of SpongeBob though which is the 2004 movie and everything before it. For some odd reason though, there’s about six pre-2004 episodes which he actually hates. Those ones are I Was a Teenaged Gary, Pressure, I’m with Stupid, Dumped, Party Pooper Pants and The Great Snail Race. He even did a list of his top 20 favorite post-2004 SpongeBob episodes. What a hypocrite. However, he actually likes the 2005 episodes prior to Good Neighbors.

Things that make him triggered

"STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONGUS! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! My friends on TikTok send me memes! On Discord, dis' fuaking memes! I was in a server, right? And ALLLL of the channels are just Among Us stuff! I showed my Champion underwear to my fake girlfriend and the logo, I flipped it! And said: "Hey babe, when the underwear's SUS! HAHA!" DING DING DING DING DING DING DING! DING DING DING! I fuacking looked at a trashcan and said; "THAT'S A BIT SUSSY!" I looked at my benis, I think of the astronaut's helmet and go "PENIS? MORE LIKE BENSUS!!!" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGESFG!!!!!"

— Jason1980 is triggered and tired of Amogus

Jason1980 wants u to stahp.

• Mean spiritedness
• Grotesque things
• Being told that he needs to grow up
• Post-2004 SpongeBob SquarePants (the show he’s done the most reviews on)
• Family Guy (his second least favorite show)
• Teen Titans Go! (his third least favorite show)
• Fanboy and Chum Chum
• Sanjay and Craig
• Breadwinners
• Marvin Marvin
• Chowder
• Flapjack
• Kick Buttowski
• Johnny Test
• Almost Naked Animals
• Drawn Together
• American Dad
• Ren and Stimpy’s Adult Party Cartoon, which he called pure evil
• Annoying Orange
• Happy Tree Friends
• Chicken Little
• Sausage Party
• Foodfight!
• The Emoji Movie
• South Park
• Being told that cartoons are not serious business, especially ones that fall under comedy
• Anyone who doesn’t agree with him
• Telling him to get a real job
• Suggesting for him to get a breath of fresh air instead
• Suggesting for him to read a good book instead
• Suggesting for him to watch a good movie instead of one that he hates
• School subjects
• Sports and exercise
• Telling him to just write an alternate ending to an episode of a cartoon he doesn’t like and hopelessly convincing him that it’s a much more creative way of handling it than whining and complaining about it
• Whenever a cartoon character gets treated like crap in an episode, even if that cartoon character in question is a total annoying jerk who we’re supposed to hate and deserves it anyway
• When his "waifu" rejects him in his own mind and dreams
• When a girl he likes rejects him
• When his mom doesn't give him any 'good boy points'
• When someone on the internet says his profile picture sucks
• When he forgets where he put his fedora and tie
• When somebody toucha his spaghett
• The fact that PieDude101 has a hot Italian girlfriend and he, on the other hand, never will
• When his expectations crumble
• The Simpsons
• King of the Hill
• Beavis and Butthead
• Tom and Jerry
• Woody Woodpecker
• The Cleveland Show
• Futurama
• Scooby-Doo
• Looney Tunes
• Mickey Mouse
• DuckTales
• Darkwing Duck
• Sofia the First
• Pinky and the Brain
• Dexter's Laboratory
• My Life as a Teenage Robot
• Its Happy Bunny
• The Vampire Diaries, because he wants Nina Dobrev, Olga Fonda, and Torrey DeVitto to date him instead of the guys on the show
• The Walking Dead
• Teen Wolf
• The Twilight Saga
• Ted (both movies)
• Supernatural
• Drake and Josh
• Henry Danger
• Jay Jaymore, Yuri Blurry, and Abe Lincoln with a Bazooka 79, three guys who got sick of his crap
• Constance Dolorean, a woman who got sick of his crap and even though she’s one of his critics, he still has somewhat of a crush on her
• When someone has more money than him
• When his food reviews goes bad by purchasing the wrong or wasted dish
• When people tell him to review more exotic and rare foods and not those one can buy at every gas station for a dollar
• When his uncles or grandmother aren't around to cut his pizza during the food reviews.
• When his camera suddenly stops recording
• When someone laughs at him
• When one of his cousins tries to play with one of his action figures without his approval
• When Corey Evans bullies the living hell out of him for being a weaboo as Corey doesn't think he is nowhere near worthy of being Japanese
• When his older brother or forgets about the camera
• When his grandmother tells him to clean up his room
• When his nephew makes a bad montage
• When someone bothers him while he's playing Minecraft, Roblox, Halo, Terraria, Five Nights at Freddy's, or Skyrim
• Activision
• Take-Two Interactive
• Electronic Arts
• Ubisoft
• Dragon ball Super
• Boku no Pico
• Hellsing
• Death Note
• JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
• Tokyo Ghoul
• Fullmetal Alchemist
• Easter
• Everyone who doesn't worship him in his little poisoned head
• When Clurkicus tells him that he will suffer forever and ever in Hell and be tortured more than anyone else ever was after his life finally ends, but wait... Jason doesn't have a life now, does he?
• Any Star Wars movie that isn’t either episode 4, 5, or 6
• When his cousin annoys him with Filthy Frank's memes
• When he sees a white stain on his portrait in his uncle's room and he hates it even more when his uncle is trying to "flirt with him"
• The new Russian spinoff of Gravity Falls
• When one of his cousins gets on his Webkinz, Club Penguin, Poptropica, or FunBrain account without his permission.
• When his bulldog chews on his favorite action figure
• When his cat gets in the way of his camera
• When his grandmother or uncle ask him where he got his drugs or pornographic magazines
• When his cousins tell him that he drinks alcohol, smokes cigarettes, and gambles too much
• When there’s too much noise in the background while he’s recording a video
• Telling him that a cartoon being comedic doesn’t disqualify it from being a teen/YA show.
• The Office
• Parks and Recreation
• Ricky Gervais in general
• Angela Anaconda
• Alexandra Bender aka AmazzonKane because she likes Angela Anaconda and he hates it
• Jimmy Two Shoes
• Kid Vs. Kat
• Over the Hedge
• The Nut Job (both movies)
• Barnyard
• Open Season
• Aqua Teen Hunger Force
• Saying “Just because it’s a classic, doesn’t mean it’s shielded from criticism of any form.”
• Dry humor
• Catnip, aka the only Sanrio character he utterly hates

If you dare to criticize him about any of the above, his fanboys will get highly defensive.

Known Members of Jason1980’s Family

• Jennifer “Jenny” (his grandmother, born circa 1932)
• Waylon (his father, born circa 1957)
• Jonathan (his uncle, born circa 1960)
• James (his older brother, born circa 1977)
• Robert (his younger cousin, born 1985)
• Richard (his younger cousin, born 1990)
• Alexander (his nephew, born 1994)
• Mittens (his cat)
• Patrick (his bulldog, named after Patrick Star back during the days of “old SpongeBob”)

Quotes directed at Jason1980

"Let's open up that head of yours and see if we can find us a brain!"

— Seth La Valley

"Killing your kind is about the only thing that makes this terrible!"

— Rj Peart

"Kid, I bet your pa's better off dead. Him being such a yellow-belly and all! (Daren and the bandits laugh)"

— Colonel Daren

"Y'know, I'm getting tired of looking at your ugly face."

— Tony Montana

"You cannot be here with hair like that."

— Jack Primola

"Your ugly, that's your crime."

— Montana

"I'm gonna make mincemeat out of you."

— Bloody Thomas

"Cono, I got bowls, man. And you don't want to fah wit' 'em."

— Tony Montana

"Die, you filthy kwai-lo!"

— Varmin Kang

"Die, boi, die! Can't ya see me?"

— Chicken

"You feel like being a hero today, Jason?"

— Alejandro Sausage

"Time for bye-byes, beardo!"

— White Rabbit

"If you know it's good for you, you won't fak wit' me."

— Montana

"I can make up with the best of 'em, man. And I punch a lot harder than fahing you!"

— Pietro Navarrete

"I'll eat your heart!"

— Antonio Escuella

"Who do you think you are???"

— Varmin Kang

"Over the lips and past the gums, look out, Jason, here I come!"

— Prof. Perry

"I'M GONNA HAVE A BLAST WITH YOU!"

— Pig Josh

"I killed him, haha! I killed him good!"

— Hatchet Schultz

"Hold this! *Hits Jason with his gun*"

— Hedgehog Thornton

"Here ya go, catch it! C'mon!"

— Bartlett when throwing dynamite at Jason

"YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE, FOOL!"

— Biggie Smoke

"He-hey, shouldn't you be building a raft for your mamma? Get out of here before you hurt yourself, little man."

— Rupert

"Would you please shut the fawk up? Thank you!"

— Trevor Phillips

"You’re acting fawking weird!"

— Johnny Klebitz

"You have yourself a REAL GOOD sleep, boy!"

— Hedgehog Thornton

"I ain't afraid of you."

— Holstein Hal

"You're gonna blow up REAL good, cowboy!"

— Pig Josh

"If you don't want any trouble, you'll get out of my face!"

— Big Show

"Enuff of this 'nickel and dime' stuff! (Quietly) Let's kill 'im."

— Jason Cornet

"There's you'll go: six feet under."

— Gigolo Hancock