This article, Home-baked Goods, is property of Damon Redwood. |
- "Don't let our goody-goodies be denied, you put your polyunsaturated fats and triglycerides inside you, homeboy!"
- — The est.'s motto
Home-baked Goods is a small and smelly, crappy so-called bakery located under Barbara Strah's house in a small town called Naklo in Slovenia.
The very small bakery is allowed to be located under Strah's house because Captain Francisco Bizzgotton, the so-called boss plus owner of the bakery, pays a monthly fee to Strah so she doesn't close the dam place down. The bakery is in a very poor condition, very dirty and Bizz's employees are underpaid or not paid at all, hell even Frank himself and his butt-buddy Shujinko have to share their pay as Strah treats them very poorly as they treat their workers and baking place. Frank has below the minimum wage pay.
Sometimes Barbara Strah her-fawking-self will come down to the bakery and give a couple of orders to Frankie and 'Jinko, like what type of cookies or what type of cakes their "top costumers" ordered and that they need to be made quickly as possible as she has no patience for lazy bums like them. However, Bizzgotto and his employees take themselves a couple of good hours to make and bake the cookies or other pastries the folk ordered. This continuing ordeal is driving Barbara madder by the day.
The only employees (minus Frank and 'Jinko) working at the Goods are Edgar Munsen, Globgloglabgalab and Skeet who aren't paid jack crap. Skeet and Ed keep complaining about their bad treatment at the place plus how dirty and poorly-build the entire place is, but Frank only yells at them back for not doing their job correctly, despite the fact that he never gives clear orders at all, while Shujinko is quiet in the corner, like a pussi, clearly the sub while Frank is the top in their secret, in-the-closet BDSM relationship. Folks in Naklo say that it is only a matter of time before the entire place crashes to the ground. Either that or the entire place will be burned down to the ground by Skeet or either any of the employees considering Frank's unattractive personality, low pay and virgin pirate looks.
A running theme constantly shadowing the deep, sewer of a place seems to be the fact that everything a costumer receives seems to be poorly and badly made, as such Franko and old man Jinko seem to be getting criticism non-stop. Somehow their bakery still hasn't been shut down, probably due to Barbara's powers over the shebang.
Sometimes instead of using sugar or flour to bake 'em cookies, Frank uses Shujinko's fertile cum instead.
While Skeet, Glob and Ed are actually working and busting their ss off at the establishment, Franko only sits his lazy s on a counter and is on the phone the whole day while Shujinko keeps cleaning and scrubbing the floor on his knees with a small paper like the biacth that he is. Only when Barbara comes down to the Goods does Frank stand up and start doing some sith.
This place was recently burned down by an unknown arsonist in late afternoon, killing Bizzgotto and Shujinko who were inside at the time. Skeet, Glob and Munsen already left the work at the time and Barbara Strah gave little fahs about the place being burnt down.
Layout[]
The bakery is located below Barbara Strah's house, first there is a small hallway where all the boxes are kept plus a small fan which gives out some cool air in the already cold hallway; Bizzgotto seems to be too poor to afford an AC but the main question should be wtf is a cold-s fan doing in a cold place in the first place? There is no cameras in the hall and the light on the ceiling is very bad. Then you get into the main location, the kitchen part or something. The place has brown walls that look like faeces, one poor window, green doors that lead to the dressing room, around three dirty ovens, a couple of mops and buckets for cleaning the floor, one trashcan which is always full, making the trash falling out to the floor, a sink which has maggots crawling out of the sewer and two fridges, one is empty or at least filled with rats while the other has substances in it used for creating pastries, but not without bad smell and bread filled with mice plus mouse sith. In the dressing room there are three lockers and a small, wooden bench which will break any second now. A small bathroom besides it which has a very dirty toilet that doesn't have a flush button and the sink is green from all the moisture and mould and the window is barricaded. The shampoo bottles are dominated by spider webs. The office of the bakery has a broken computer, broken printer, a couch which has springs out and a small chair for the comp which would only fit a midget person.
Known employees[]
- Owner: Barbara Strah
- Operator: Cap'n Francisco Bizzgotton
- Manager: Strah
- Workers: Skeet, Globgloglabgalab, Edgar Munsen