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This article, Frank Kenson VS Carmella Ford - Rap Beetle 38, is property of Paul W. Barrel. |
Frank Kenson VS Carmella Ford - Rap Beetle 38, aka Battle is the thirty-eight episode of EERB, and the 10th episode of season 3. It features the Republican candidate of the 24 AH US presidential election and the former dictator of the United States of USA, Franklin Kenson, rapping against the Democratic candidate of the 24 AH presidential election and former Democratic puppet, Carmella Ford, along with a surprise entry from the previous president, Lucas Borlinghathen. It was released on October 26th, 24 AH, almost a year after the previous one. Well, 10 months at least.
Lyrics[]
Kenson (1st Verse)[]
I've got the best wordplays, the best grammar and the best cognition! Ask my supporters.
I've got more dissin' abilities than an Outworld's Anti-Earth reporter!
You're a scam, your whole nomination is a hoax!
Your party is so pro-choice, they aborted the state's right to vote! Forget the fetuses!
Your pencil-pushing pussy bows to me, think you can scare me with prison?
Get my mugshot, then my butt shot, then come talk to me about convictions!
You're the radical communist left, you should be embarrassed! You're so overboard!
The way you divide our beautiful country, I'll call you: Cameltoe Ford!
Your inflation's got our nation clippin' coupons.
Wallets leaking worse than a bat lab in Wuhan!
I had every American's drivin' the most expensvie cars.
Stock markets were higher than the planes full of alien migrants you fly in!
And don't even try to deny the cognitive decline of Joe you were hiding, sternly!
Propping up Joe like it was Weekend at Bernie's!
I'm here to teach you what losing to a true winner feels like!
Ask Vance: I know how to drop a Mike!
Ford (1st Verse)[]
I know you're not all ears and no brians, but listen up close:
You are Santa Claus' beard level weird, you are gross! Eww!!!
You've been bending American decency over a barrel!
Giving Lady Liberty the finger like she's another Jean Carroll!
In that big-s creepy mansion on a peak with your secrets stacked in piles.
From documents to pedos, you spend too much time with files!
Having sleepovers with Stone Cold's wife I heard, what's going on with ya?!
Can't you afford a prostitute nowadays?
You failed in NY city: bank, ballot box, and court!
You're Kevin from Home Alone 2; you lost in New York!
I was there on January 6th, it wasn't fun for me.
Just like your bowels, I was evacuated suddenly! Agghhaaa! (Kenson nervously farts)
You are history's least hopeful, presidential hope.
Moods swinging wildly like stock in Kenson Social!
I’m here to build bridges from Texas to Niagara Falls!
(Biden: She-she-she's even got better Springs!)
Kenson (2nd Verse)[]
I hope you wrote that commie crap in red 'cause you're taking a huge loss! 'UGE!
This is ending worse for you than Afghanistan did for your boss!
Men handed you everything you ever did.
You couldn't make your own way, you couldn't even make your own kids!
Ford (3rd Verse)[]
I heard your mommy was absent when you were just a little baby.
And if she saw you now, she'd wish she were a childless cat lady! Uh, boy.
And if your racist Francophone landlord daddy wasn't dead,
It'd kill him seeing me living rent free in your head!
Kenson (3rd Verse)[]
Well, I know how you failed the bar exam after that.
I guess the half of you whose job it is to rap isn't black!
Ford (4th Verse)[]
Frankly Franklin, I'm putting you away like a rapist back in Cali.
You should leave this battle early like the crowds at your rallies!
Kenson (4th Verse)[]
Wrong! I have all the biggest rallies!
Ford (5th Verse)[]
Yeah, well we've got Miley Cyrus, Billie Eilish and Taylor Swift! You got Olaf!
Kenson (6th Verse)[]
Well, you're ugly and a commie Marxist!
Ford (6th Verse)[]
You're ugly!
Kenson (7th Verse)[]
Nuh-uh! U R!
Lucas Borlinghathen[]
Holy fuaking Isus motherfuaking H. H. Chris'!
I've been doin' it for the money and sex all night!
'S the song that gets me erect, aiiighttt!
It's fuaking up your stereo!
No one wants to fight about politics this fuaking much!
You!!! (Turns to Ford) Madam red, white and new pants!
Don't let getting hired be the greatest thing you ever do!
(Turns to Kenson) And you! Goddam, holy sith, how did the people ever elect you?!
Try not to slide democracy again to ultimate dicktatorship!
I've come here on the back of an angry, Satanic beast!
With a message for whichever one of you sucks the least! Cok!
Our government was founded on self-evident truths, as the Project says!
So keep it of the people, by the people, for the people! FUAK Y'ALL! (Punches Ford and Kenson in the face simultaneously)
Poll[]
Who won? Whomst ist next? You shall decide.
- Kenson: 245448 points
- Carmella: 244666 points
- Borlinghathen: 243784 points