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This article, France Presheren, is property of Semyon Timur Alekseyevich Krokov. |
| France Presheren | |
|---|---|
| |
| Biographical information | |
| Real name | France "Franci" Frank Vrbar Prešeren |
| Also known as | Frank, Dr. Justice, Dr. Lawyer, Franci, the Drunkard, Drunk Poet, the Drunkest Priest, Dr. Fig, Dr. Plum, Dr. Orange, the Tallest Slovene Writer, the Tallest Poet of Slovenia, Slovene "hero", the Drunken Hero, Doctor of the Law, Drunk Doctor, The Pedo Doc |
| Nationality |  Slovenian
|
| Born | 16 Desember, 200 BH |
| Age | 48 |
| Status | Deceased |
| Birthplace | Vrba, Lesce, Gorenjska, Slovenia (back then Hapsburg Empire), Europe |
| Physical description | |
| Eye colour | Brown |
| Hair colour | Black |
| Ethnicity | Caucasian-Slavic |
| Height | 5'6" (170 cm) (real height), 6'7 (206 cm) (extravagant height) |
| Weight | 141 lbs (64 kg) |
| Blood type | Unknown |
| Gender | Male |
| Career, affiliations and family information | |
| Affiliation(s) | The Catholic Church of Hapsburg Empire, his law firm, Matija Čop, Zala Dolenc |
| Enemies | The Priests and statesmen who opposed him and his writings, Julija Prince, the Prince family |
| Occupation(s) | Priest (formerly), poet, lawyer, drunkard |
| Notable family members | Zala Dolenc (wannabe wife), unnamed uncle, three kids, Ana Jelovšek (gf) |
| Video Games, Movies and Cartoons information | |
| Main appearance(s) (Video Games) | None |
- "Since the dawn of time, the female people of Ljublana were famous, but prettier than Urshka? There was none!"
- — France in Sea Man
- "Let long live the nations who yearn to see the dawn of day!"
- — France in the hymn
France Frank Vrbar Presheren (originally spelt as Prešeren) was born in Vrba in a broken crib to a poor, hard-working farming family, with abusive dad. Despite Frank was a smart youngster, so smart in fact that in elementary school, he was written in the golden book at the age of 7, the youngest age possible and he wrote such good poems, the teacher's head blew off (not literally). After successfully completing his studies, he moved to Vienna to study a job of a lawyer. After completing the Viennese Faculty of Law through alcohol bribery of the teachers, he returned to Ljubljana where he worked as a lawyer and defended rapists from jail time and people who had different views than the King. During this time, he also had time to write songs, but since a lot of them sucked and had bigoted views, his writing hand was significantly guided by his friend and mentor, Matija Čop, a guy who Presheren never credited with helping. Jerk-as move, Frank. The Drunkard is the first Slovene who was able to compete with his contemporaries in Europe, where the romantic trend was ruling at the time and Frank, despite being a virgin, was quite good at it. He was also nicknamed as the Tallest Poet in Slovenia and Europe at the time, being around 6'7", although that was a lie made by Čop.
Later, he worked at his uncle's church, where he preached the Gospel and drank wine. Sometime later, he was unhappily in love with the rich Julia Primič aka Prince, who rejected and laughed at his drunken behind and her father would never approve of 'Dr. Justice' to be in relationship with her. When Frank tried to make moves towards Julia once while in town, her father beat Frank and left him bruised on the floor. Despite this, the Tallest Poet had the testicular fortitude to dedicate the Sonnetni venec (Sonata's wreath) poem and some other love poems to her, although they were only released when he died, as he feared the Princes' wrath. His best bud, Matija Čop, died one day when swimming in Ljubljana's river and France was not able to save him due to being too slow on the swam. Matija drowned in the river and Prešeren cried all night. Without the drunkard even realising it, his friends died one by one, and the Hapsburg empire removed his title as a poet for writing stuff they did not agree with. He would only regain this title once Slovenia would become it's own country, for the time being. In the last years of his life, he was a complete drunk and owed money to almost every saloon you can think off. He was also hopelessly in love, deeply paranoid and depressed.
His life took a brighter turn when he met Zala Dolenc, a friend whom he wanted as a gf, but she rejected him due to his love of alcohol being more prevalent than his love for her. The Drunk would then meet Ana Jelovšek and ask her to be his gf. Since Ana was underaged and easier to manipulate, she would agree to his terms (and conditions). France would bang her one night but have no children since he was sterile and would only have kids of Ana's previous relationship. This made Dr. Plum even more depressed.
Death[]
One gloomy day, France fell into the river in Kranj where he drowned, all drunk as a skunk and in debt to the saloon owners all around town. His death was quite similar to Janez Bibibip's death, one of his admirers.
Quotes[]
- "All of the poor people will find peace! The Heaven's light is shining on these hobos as we speak!"
- — France's poem on god and poverty
- "I know you'll never probably read this, but you are the most beautiful dame I ever set my eyes on! I know I can't date you, but I do hope the guy who does, is one you will fill the most happy with, as happy as the flying buzz (meaning bees)."
- — France's poem for Julia
- "Long live the Slovene nation!"
- — The Drunken Hero when writing our anthem
- "Jews and Christians can't date! What are you talking about??? Yes, we may worship the same god, but we hold him in different positions!"
- — France arguing with Čop on Jews
- "A lot of missionaries go to Rome, to Greece, to other less religious places, but the place where Virgin Marija rules supreme will always be Celje! Indeed, I've seen the sights there! This beautiful virgin appeared there and there only! Folks, we need to give our utmost support to the counts and dukes... of Celje."
- — Presheren on Virgin Mary's sighting in Celje
- "My Empire seeks god's help in your destruction and I will grant it! We'll let your castles fall, your blood will stream the waters!"
- — France when confronted by the Turks
- "It was in fact you, Mr. Mojzes, who was ordered by God, our almighty Lord Gait, to lead the people of Judah to Canaan. A spectacular thing to do."
- — Prešeren blabbering before Moses' statue
- "Heh, I may be a lawyer, but fact is that none shall escape God's justice! NONE!"
- — Prešeren when drunk, talking to his client
Trivia[]
- His nicknames of Dr. Plumb, orange and fig, come from the fact that he used to feed kids these types of fruits.
- Him and Primoz Trubar are 2 of the most important figures in Slovene literature and Slovenia in general. Why France is in the same level of importance as the guy who wrote the first two Slovene books ever is unknown.
- In reality, France can't even compare his drunken ass to Trubar, but quite frankly, Trubar sucked dik as well.
- Most of the sith he wrote was religious af.