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This article, Father Lampton, is property of Demon Redwood. |
| Father Lampton | |
|---|---|
| |
| Biographical information | |
| Real name | Michael Adam Lampton |
| Also known as | Father, Neo/New Messiah, Papa Lampton, Lord Lampton, God Lampton, Daddi (sometimes Lampton), Lampy, Mikey, Daddy Mikey, Pope's biatch, Lumpy, Count Lampy, Charlatan priest, Old Man Lampton, Father Lamp, Messiah of the Lamps, dad, Pater, Padre Lampton, Count Lampton |
| Nationality |  American
|
| Born | 14 August, 44 BH |
| Age | 67 |
| Status | Alive |
| Birthplace | West side of Virginia, Virginia, United States of America |
| Physical description | |
| Eye colour | Blue |
| Hair colour | Black |
| Ethnicity | Aryan-Caucasian |
| Height | 5'10 |
| Weight | 81 kg |
| Blood type | B- |
| Gender | Male |
| Career, affiliations and family information | |
| Affiliation(s) | The Pope Family, Pope Francis, Catholics of Vatican, COVID-19, Chernobog |
| Enemies | Gait (probably) |
| Occupation(s) | Priest, preacher |
| Goals | Become a rich af priest (succeeded), make good music (succeeded), succeed Francis as the Pope (in progress) |
| Video Games, Movies and Cartoons information | |
| Main appearance(s) (Video Games) | Mafia IV |
- "Do not worry my child for you will be blessed and remade in gawd's image."
- — Lampton to Mrs. Webner
- "Well, since god is dead, right? And the Devil is in charge? I can only say that the tyrant in heavens has been defeated. Wait, what? That's not right! No, people, I didn't mean that!"
- — Lampton in the church
Father Lampton is a catholic priest, and secret commander of the Pope Family.
Biography[]
Lampton was born in the West of Virginia, and by the age of three he and his family moved to London, UK to start a new life due to their house in Virginia being destroyed by a hurricane (not the suprehero). Lampton grew up with very overly-religious parents who often threw holy water at him due to them being insane drug addicts, unlike Jack Herbert, whose paige ain't complete yet. By the 1970's, on his parents' orders, Lampton had gotten himself a job as a priest at the local church, working for some nutty religious fascist. Lampton, at some point in 1977, met up with the future Pope Benedict and his underboss Mr Ditkovich. They convinced him to join up with their secret gang, the Pope Family for big money since the church opposed the idea of giving its employees and poor people money but had a lot of shares of the American pie, chocolate flavour. Lampton served in the crime family well, even as a secret spy, gaining information from people via the use of confession sessions, using his job as a priest to his advantage. When COVID-19 broke out, he used the disease to his advantage and opposed vaccinations. Lampton quickly excelled up the ranks of the family to become one of the Pope's top allies and most powerful men, getting himself a mansion in Vatican even and making all sorts of side deals with the Devil, perhaps even Chernobog. He became one of the family's commanders and probably their most ruthless one too, in my opinion. He often accompanies the new Pope Francis himself on business trips and for business conferences. He also goes with the Pope on meetings in restaurants and eats large portions of pizza. Similar to William P. Glendale, Lampton is more of an underboss to the Pope and his organisation than the real underboss is, which has led to them having behind the scenes beef.
These Days[]
Lampton has recently been seen helping Pope Francis in setting up their new band called Pope's Band. Really original name right? RIGHT? Anyways, Lampton is a member of the band, being the one to play the violin and drums. Their band mainly sings overly Satanic music, but sometimes also violent rap songs, basically not Christian stuff at all. Concerning metal, they sing a lot of Rotting Christ, Behemoth, HELL and Metallica songs, like The New Messiah (Lampton's theme as well), O Father O Sa-I-n O Sun, Darkangel and Master of Puppets. Concerning rap, they sing Eminem and D12 songs, like My Darling, I'm the Real Slim Shady and It Ain't Nothin' Butt Music. Lampton and the merry band have also received private funding from Gary Bluechart himself to perform at the 17 AH Super Bowl, singing Ghost's song Ritual. That day was a good day. Lampton also recently killed George Large, the chief security guard of a rival gang known as the Tesco Boys Gang, initiating a fuaking war between the two gangs. Lampton was also one of the men on the Wonga family's radar, before they got defeated.
Today Lampton is also the spiritual adviser of the US President, Joe Biden, while he has also been known to be in the pocket of Boris Johnson, Mark Ruffalo, Scarface, Count Batula and Ken Silverman, making Lampy rich af.
Family[]
Lampton has a mother and a father, naturally, but the two are overly-religious drug addicts who forced Lampton to get into the priest business despite his age and despite his parents being into dope business. His wishes... alas, were actually to become a successful baker under the tutelage of John Barbecue Crisps himself. Well, him or Joey Ambroise at least. His parents recently died in a massive drug binge at some point in 2 HA though Lampton did not bother to attend their funeral and felt no sympathy for them. Hahahah! Dam, Count Lampy is one sadistic sum off a gum, ain't he? Oh, and he doesn't like drugs, being a priest.
Quotes[]
- "The god just came... on you!"
- — Lampton has some kinks
- "Never put your faith into yourself, put it in the merciful and not wrathful god!"
- — Lampton claims the only true self-esteem is the one where you believe in god
- "And now you will all suffer punishment beneath the hands of god! For eatin' that bat that spewed out... the Coronavirus!"
- — Lampton says a lot of contradicting stuff
- "When it comes to my sound which is the champion sound! BELIEVE! BELIEVE!"
- — Lampton quoting god or some crap
- "I'm gonna smoke about 50 packs! Only good 40 rocks in my pocket!"
- — Lampton when taking a smoke break
- "Do not take the vaccine! I repeat, do NOT take the Covid-19 vaccine! It's filled with demon's blood, hell, maybe even the Devil Gene! It's a ploy made by Bill Gates to make himself rich and make human populace suffer! To extinct us all! Don't trust that demon Gates, ppl!"
- — Lampton antivaxx speech
- "I pray for the Russian and the Ukrainian leaders to make some goddam peace already, so this war is over and things can return back to normal!"
- — Lampton on the Russo-Ukrainian conflict
- "Read the Good o' Book, folks! Read the Good Book! I did and I couldn't feel better!"
- — Lampton advising the buy-bull to the crotch-goers
Personality and traits[]
Lampton is actually very kind, generous, and overall a swell fella for a preacher. But he also has a dark side (you don't know the power of the dark side), and doesn't shy away from showing it when things don't go his way. He claims he'll use god's spell to curse a person if they stand in his way! Lampton loves to bake things privately, like some baker and his true ambition in life was to become a world famous baker, being a student of John Barbecue Crisps or Joey Ambroise, but those dreams alas, never came to fruition. He became a priest instead via his parents' orders. Like the Pope, despite being christian and part of the church, Lampton has engaged in several, secret homosexual relationships and loves to sing Devil's songs. Lampton is also very charismatic and it ain't hard not to follow his path of religion. Sweet, sweet religion!
Trivia[]
- Lampton, despite only being a commander or a capo, is more present during the gang meetings more than the Pope himself, his lawyer or the underbosses, assuming he's quite respected and very trusted in the family matters.
- Lampton has connections to the Albanian Mob and Harvey Boys Gang. Interesting, right? He also has ties to the Order of the Beast over in Miami, making him one of the most risky-to-kill mobsters in the city or country.
- Lampton is left-handed, like Omer.
- He smokes 50 packs of cigs from the Redwood Cigarettes Co. a day, but his voice is somehow in perfect condition.
- He is also a heavy drinker. His fav brand of whiskey is Jack Daniel's, as seen from his Whiskey Bottle, like Whiskey Treadwell's.
- He has no idea who Moses is despite being a fuaking priest. He also thinks St. Mary is not the same as Virgin Marie.
- Lampton was once nearly fired from his job, being caught in a cupboard having an orgy with two nuns and a monk. He is also a known fan of Ouija board.
- Lampton is actually gay.
- He is scared of dogs and cats.
- He, like Redgie Redgicondo and Reupert Wonga, suffers from really bad constipation. Might wanna get a laxative for that.
- He hates getting his pictures taken.
- At first it was thought he is the same guy as Ken Copeland, but then the truth came to light.
- He blames his old appearance and ageing on the stresses of being a priest.
- Lampton is one of the few members of the Pope Family to actually be a real priest, all the other members are just impostors (the sus impostor), minus Francis, the current Pope aka Papa.
- King Baal never takes his form.
Gallery[]
