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This article, Evelyn Miller, is property of Damon Redwood. |
| Evelyn Miller | |
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| Nickname(s) | Millah', Marx wanna be, Eve, Evie, writer, that yellow liver writer, yellow spine, no-spine Miller, coward, cobadre, ugly jerk, Uglier, Nonsense writer, Douche's master |
| Appears in | Rootin' Tootin', Cowboy Shootin' |
| Rank | Writer, hobo, forest dweller |
| Affiliations | Rains Fall, Eagle Flies, Ichabod Crane |
| Status | Deceased |
| Killed By | Starvation, lol |
| Birth | Unknown, 1852, somewhere in US |
| Sex | Male, probably |
| Death | Around February, 1888, Tall Trees, West Virginia, US |
| Weapon | Nothing |
| Voice Actor | Gibson Frazier |
Evelyn Miller is a minor, useless, should've been mentioned only character featured in Rootin' Tootin', Cowboy Shootin'. Unfortunately, he has a heroic role.
Info[]
Miller is some useless, nobody-cares-about writer and a hobo, actually, since he made no money with his stupid pinko book. He is seen in a few missions in Rootin' Tootin', Cowboy Shootin', which is an otherwise great game. He is the so-called mastermind of Dutch van der Linde's philosophy and his teachings. Ha! No wonder Dutch's Gang sucked so badly, if this weakling was their idol! "It all makes sense now." as Arthur Morgan would say.
Interactions[]
Miller can be seen kissing Ichabod Crane's butt (not literally) during the Saint Penis high society party. Which is weird as hell because Miller, in his literatures, does nothing else than spit on the rich and praise the poor. But there is one explanation: fear! Fear! His poverty-lovin' backside is scared of the former Fabletown mayor.
Our dear, dear, dear but dumb hero Arthur Morgan later meets Miller in the town and he introduces him to two Native fools who don't wanna accept the coming civilisation: Rains Fall and his dumb son; Eagle Flies. Morgan, being blinded by Dutch van der Linde's so-called vision, takes orders from this Nonsense writer and helps rob Leviticus Cornwall's refinery so those poor Native Americans won't suffer some civilisation. On a serious note doe, Natives are awesome without a doubt but not the likes of Rains Fall and his ugly family. We prefer Indian Gang even if they were led by the Douche.
Years later, John Marston meets this yellow spine camping and cowering in Tall Trees, West Virginia (Country or mountain mama!) and asks wth a "famous" writer like himself is doing living like a peasant in the forest filled with criminals and wild animals. (Lmao John, Evelyn ain't famous and he loves being a peasant) Miller replies that some bunch of Roe's Criminals (and they're communist, kind of like him, lmfao!) robbed him and now he fears for his poor life. "Iran for mah life!" says Millah'. Marston doesn't do jack crap.
Death[]
When Johnny returns to his awful smelling campsite only a week later, he finds o' Miller laying dead on the ground, being eaten by worms, maggots and vultures all around. Marston takes a copy of his one and only book he wrote and also his deathwish: "Please, lemme fly with 'em eagles in the sky, not rot with 'em pink worms in the ground-eh. I wanna be burned! Cremated, baby." But Marston, fearing for his life of bears and boars since Miller's rotten corpse was bringing in quite the visitors, mounts back on his brown horse and rides away before a whole pack of wolves and Brumas the Bear devour up Miller. The leader of the pack of wolves was Lobo.
His deathwish wasn't fulfilled, it didn't deserve to be anyway.
Trivia[]
- He has a girl's name, but not that it matters. That's not why he's a weak trashbin.
- Apparently, his book claims that all rich (especially rich), white men and women are evil and spawns of our lord Shinnok and they need some punishment, while all minorities (or only Natives and blacks, Miller was racist towards Hispanics and Asians) deserve fame and glory and should start lynching majorities now! Oh yea, and Miller also hated gays, despite being a leftist realist and a role model for Dutch van der Linde but it is possible that the Dutch only cherry-picked out those teachings from his book that he liked. Ha, not even the one and only fan of Evelyn is dedicated to his work entirely. Ironically, Evelyn was robbed by Roe's Criminals, a gang of socialists which includes many Afro-Americans plus their leader was one. It is possible that they didn't know that was Miller or hated him regardless. Seeing how almost no one, safe for Dutch's Gang and Rains Fall's tribe, knew who the heck he was, it is possibly the former.
- Knowing that this cobadre is the role model for Dutch's Wild Bunch makes their brutality and fearness fall down by 100%.
- Grosvenor McCaffrey is a god compared to Miller and his books shine bright on all of the bookshelves and they show clearly how a true leftist utopia is suppose to look like. Evelyn would probably support Stinky before he would McCaffrey even.
- Despite sucking more than Karen Jones or maybe because of it, his page has a lot more effort put into it and is clearly longer. Nevertheless, I'd rather blow Miller's brains out than that drunken whore's.
- His sideburns look quite similar to Dale Chesston's.