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This article, Comchatkan War, is property of Demon Redwood.


"Why do you try to resist? You know it is your destiny to fight and die for me! YOU WILL FIGHT!!!"
— Azazel to the Garrian leader

The Comchatkan War was an armed conflict that was the main conflict of the Great War Saga. The war began with the Comchatkan Invasion of Lamporia on 19 July, 14 AH which also marked the beginning, aka beninging, of the concurrent Lamporian's Genocide and Comchatkan Civil War on the deserty planet of Orinion. The war was a very violent conflict, with nearly 30,000,000 soldiers and civilians dying between 2014 and 2017/17 AH. The war ended with the fall of the Comchatkan Rebels and the death of its leader, Wallace Maznoff, after a major siege in the capital city of Unifech in Comchatka, Orinion. After the end of the conflict, major reconstruction were planned to start there, but the plant's ruler, Lord Azazel, would have none of that and he would destroy all traces of Comchatka. The war marked the first use of 7 nuclear bombs since Azazel's testing of the weapons in 30 BH, which decimated a lot of Northern Orinion, other than just Comchatka, but it's not like Azazel gives any fuaks.

Background[]

The origins of the conflict can be lead back to the 30's BH with the Comchatkan Revolution of 32 BH in which the Comchatkan monarchy, lead by Duke Onkled was overthrown in favour of a different royal regime, ending the 80 year reign of the Kingdom of Comchatka. Duke Gabriel Onkled was instated as the Duke, well monach of Comchatka in 32 BH, personally killing the former Duke, his own uncle, Krans Onkled. Gabriel lead the country into a large stage of industrialisation period, growing the kingdom into a super power but not without Lord Azazel finding out and sending his men there to put a squeeze on o' Onkled. Though Onkled thought he was some sort of big-shot in his kingdom, he only had the sweet illusion of power. Lord Azazeru held all the cards. However, Onkled was also a radical believer that the neighbouring country of Lamporia was rightfully theirs, believing Lamporian people to be nothing more than a waste of Orinionian skin, along with Cametians, and anyone who was not loyal to the Comchatkan Kingdom come. Knowing that Azazel would have his hide and worse if he broke the law and went to war with the neighbouring peasants, Onkled gave his leadership over to Wallace Maznoff, who would have the testicular fortitude to go to war with the neighbouring kingdoms or so they called themselves. When the neighbouring kingdoms complained about Wallace's buzzing of them to Governor Kravendish, the Dark Lord knew from his throne that something had to be done, as he sensed that Maznoff let his pride and ambition get the better of him.

In 10 AH, there was a failed rebellion against the Cametia which resulted in a massacre on a bridge in Uorkots. From 11 AH to 16 AH, the Comchatkans began finding and killing anyone who did not believe in Maznoff's hype, even impaling people, well Orinionians, on poles and torturing them in acid for even daring to disagree with him.

Comchatkan Rebellion[]

In 14 AH, a rebellion began within the empire, with resistance groups performing more daring actions such as firefights, bombings, throwing firecrackers and killings of Maznoff's kingdom officials. A month later, Onkled was assassinated when a rocket launcher fired at his limo, killing him and several of his bodyguards, leaving Wallace Maznoff hungry for revenge against the resistance until he formed his own one called Comchatkan Rebels, when it was clear that the majority of the people preferred Maznoff's half-uncle, Count Maznoff, to serve as the monarch, not Wallace, who they hated for sticking with the greedy Onkled. In order to sway the planet to their side, Count's men uploaded videos of the cruel living conditions of poverty and violence that Wally's citizens were living in and Azazel took notice, issuing a war against Wallace's men as well with his Royal Militia. Weeks onwards, protests and charities were set up to help aid the escape of citizens from the kingdom cum but these were stopped once an invasion began. A day after the invasion, the Count was assassinated by one of Wallace's men and Wally took over the kingdom again, but his army stayed the rebel one.

The War[]

The war officially began with the declaration of war by Cametia, a neighbour to Lamporia along with and Garri. The Cametian and Garrian forces pushed through the southern area of Comchatka while the Lamporians handled the North along with Orinion Royal Militia and several other small Tusken tribes nearby. The early battles were the most bloody as the Comchatkans had the upper hand, with more firepower and air support which heavily destroyed the rival forces. By 15 AH, Boolos and Never Never Land had entered the war, which began to turn the tides for Orinion. Beginning in 15 AH, the Lamporian genocide began with the Comchatkans systematically attempted to eliminate all Lamporian people, killing them, enslaving them, and putting them into camps to be killed and slaughtered at a later at the biggest slaughterhouse in the city and then be turned into hamburgers and other types of meat, sold on the streets of United Kingdom, thus making the Earth allied to the Comchatkans. Any intellectuals, musicians, artists, and such as that disagreed with King Wally were killed first, with civilians being slaughtered to be turned into pizza, sold on the streets of Denmark and US, the coming years. Resistance groups began popping and pooping up in Lamporia, consisting of former military soldiers and civilians who had escaped persecution of Wally, as well as in Comchatka, consisting of anti-Wallian rebels to Wally's rebels, hoping to overthrow Maznoff and put a puppet of Azazel in charge. The two resistance forces frequently fought and raped each other, monkey style. The Never Land Demons and Onis raided supply depots, killed Comchatkan officials and rebels and anyone associated with Maznoff, feasted on Lamptorian and Orinionian prisoners to gain stamina and helped the Militia get to safety. They also collaborated with Boolos, Orderworld and Earth-2 to engage in battles with Comchatkan forces and the pro-Comchatkans, who some even formerly served as Maznoff's maids and buttlers. In summer-fall 16 AH, the fighting intensified, making 16 AH the bloodiest year of the war, with millions dying in a little over 5 months, while Azazel was just laughing from his tower, enjoying the bloodshed his planet was devouring, despite being on Lamporia and Cometia's side. Also in 16 AH, a bubonic plague spread by small ticks of an unknown species (possibly related to the Butcherflys) began spreading around several countryside towns, killing an unknown amount of people, though it is suspected that the plague might have been made by the Orinionian govt. to kill even more people for Azazel's bloodlust has only just begun. By 17 AH, the Comchatkan rebels had become very weak and Maznoff, the self-proclaimed king, was becoming weaker, even murdering one of his own cabinet members himself for the fear of dying and losing the war. He also used more toilet paper than usual, being so scared of losing or dying.

The End[]

The war's final weeks were filled with massive amounts of air raids, plague, bombings, plane and town destroyings, rapes on the streets, cannibalism, child sacrifices and very violent battles, with the death counts per battle rising highly for the first time since the start of the war. The final assault began on 30 April 17 AH, with Neverlanders, Orinion Militia and Boolosian forces invading the three homebases of Maznoff while other forces captured his men and raped them before killing them, sadistically, like in an iron maiden or a bronze bull, and the Orinion coalition marched into Maznoff's base, where he was busy wanking off as Steel Fists came into his office. Maznoff's maids fought for their master until the militia crushed them all. Pretty soon Wally found himself on his knees, begging the Fists for merci, but he granted him ništa. The Steel Fists grabbed him by the neck and tore off his head before dumping his body unto the ground and squashing it. He then took Maznoff's head and gave it to his master Azazel, so he could use it as a bowl for his soup.

Aftermath[]

Despite being allies the entire war, Lord Azazel had all of the Garrians, Cametians and Lamporians slaughtered after the war, basically extinct, just for the lols. All of the eastern forces who surrendered, like Mishantahrs, were killed anyway. Lastly, Azazel send a note to the United States of America on Earth, saying that this is the last time he will let Earth off the hook for siding against him. Joe Biden read the note, but kept his ballsy attitude, while some weaker President, like Frank Kenson, couldn't.

Gallery[]

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