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This article, Clubber Lang, is property of Demon Redwood. |
| Clubber Lang | |
|---|---|
 Lang about to fight Rocky. | |
| Biographical information | |
| Real name | George James Lang |
| Also known as | The guy who pities fools, Mr. Lang, Clubber Lang, Clubbah', Club Lang, Mr. Tea, Mr. T, Tomk Po, Mohawk hair, Moho, Langy, Lank, Great Marduk and Bruce Irvin clone or some crap, BA Biceps, Langy |
| Nationality |  African-American
|
| Born | 21st of May, 1958 |
| Died | 26th of October, 1982 |
| Age | 24 |
| Status | Deceased |
| Birthplace | Chicago, Illinois, US |
| Physical description | |
| Eye colour | Brown |
| Hair colour | Black |
| Ethnicity | Afro-American |
| Height | 185 cm |
| Weight | Only 102 kg |
| Blood type | B- |
| Gender | Male |
| Career, affiliations and family information | |
| Affiliation(s) | Marina Family (former) |
| Enemies | Rocco aka Rocky Balboa, Apollo Creed, Marinas, Mickey Cohen |
| Occupation(s) | Boxer |
| Notable family members | Damian Anderson (nephew) |
| Goals | Become the boxing heavyweight champion (succeeded), defeat Rocky (failed), bang Adrian Balboa (failed), wish Mickey Goldmill died (succeeded), bang Miranda Marina (failed) |
| Video Games, Movies and Cartoons information | |
| Main appearance(s) (Video Games) | Some Rocky-related pinball or arcade sith |
| Portrayed by | Mr. Tea |
- "I pity the fool who tries to step to Clubber Lang! Call me BA Biseps 'cause I'll crush your whole gang!"
- — Clubber Lang taunting
George Lang, better known as Clubber Lang was an American (or Afro-American) former professional boxer who competed in the boxing heavyweight division during the 1980's, which was different from the wrestling division ran by the Mishima Corporation. He reigned as the undisputed heavyweight champion and acts as the main baddie in Rocky III, only to get his as handed to him by Balboa thrice! Lang's role in the franchise was that of a jobber who only ran his mouth but got his butt kicked all the time.
Info[]
Lang was born in Chicago, Illinois and even as early as elementary school (or maybe even kindergarten) Lang bragged and bullied all of his peers since he was born with a superiority complex and only knew how to run his mouth, but no one took him seriously so he started throwing temper tantrums. Clubber went on to pity fools and joined boxing divisions, however he was never a real threat in the boxing world, but that changed when he met the Don of a Colombian mafia family, Raul Marina II, who either bribed or blackmailed all of his boxing opponents to take a dive so Lang would become the champion. In return, Lang would have to use his resources as a 'Mr. Tea' to supply the Marina Family with special, cocaine and heroin-powdered tea (all types; forest, cinnamon and mountain) and cookies that only Lang's grandma knew how to make as the Marinas were addicted to that stuff as much as I am to pornography. Both of the parties profited from this and Lang soon began storming through the ranks and "defeated" all challengers. He even accumulated a record of 28-0 before challenging the newest heavyweight champion, Rocky Balboa to a fight. Balboa accepted, but since he was not greedy, only prideful of his status, nor did the Marinas find any weak spots on him, Rocky proved to be an actual challenge for Lang. The Marinas also found out Balboa was a Spy for the Philadelphia Family and they didn't want a mob war all the way over there nor did they want it in general. Balboa knocked him out in the first round to retain his golden heavyweight championship. Raul Marina the II himself, Mickey Cohen and Patsy Cannoli would then confront Lang after the match and tell him he better wins without their help since they can't find anything on Balboa, plus Mickey adds that "his [Rocky's] brother makes some damn good steaks". Lang is hesitant but complies, he doesn't wanna piss off Marina and stop sending him his tea, otherwise they'll be Hell toupee.
Thx to this humiliating defeat for Lang, he shows up at the unveiling of Rocky's statue near that Lincoln memorial where the bearded president is sitting on a throne, whilst Lang is back in the crowd as Rocky begins his speech before the statue and mentions that he is considering retiring. Lang then rushes through the crowd and even punches four people in the crowd to the ground, comes up to Rocky and yells: "Getting out while you can, can ya!? COWARD! I told you I wasn't going away, you got your shot now give me mine again! This time you're goin' down!" Mickey Goldmill responds to Lang by telling him to get the hell out of here, Lang aggressively looks back at Mickey, grabs him by his fragile throat and says "I ain't going nowhere, old man..." Rocky says it's easy to pick on the elderly and claims Lang has a big mouth but no fighting skill, prompting Clubber to taunt that he'll smash Rocky to million little pieces like the rock that he is, and also expresses his perverse desire to bang Adrian Balboa, prompting Rocky to snap and issue the rematch.
Lang receive his rematch, but loses once again after Rocky gets training from the former heavyweight champion Apollo Creed. This was strike two for Clubber and the beginning of his downfall.
In the meantime, Mickey Cohen realised that the Marinas don't have to rely on Clubber for the drugged mountain tea and cookies as he finds Lang's grandma's house and he offers her a similar proposition: give the Marinas the tea and cookies they want and they'll make sure she is safe from the local hoodlums, juvenile delinquents and thugs running around the neighbourhood who even robbed and mugged her a couple of times. The gram-jam agrees and the Marinas have no more use for Clubbah'.
Death[]
- "So it's all my fahin' fault!? You b-tards are gonna leave?!! You're gonna let that pipsqueak just walk away!? You know I couldn't do a goddam thing to him! You should've threatened to rape his wife! THEN HE'D GIVE UP! He's weak! His trainers were some old fart and a race traitor! I should've had won! You fuaking mobsters! I've should've had raped his wife! I should've had raped that biatch! Now it seems like I'm gonna have to fuak your daughter or whatever she is to ya', to calm down! Oh yes, I've seen those photos, fool!"
- — Clubber Lang taunting
Clubber lastly meets Don Marina II, Cohen, Underboss Osvaldo Ramozzi and Cohen's Gang at night in an alleyway where they tell him that he has outlived his usefulness and that his service is no longer required. Club Lang goes beserk, and he taunts and runs his mouth off at the Don, Osvaldo and Mickey for three minutes. None of the mobsters take him seriously and they only giggle like some schoolgirls who received a chocolate bar for good grades from their parents, but the Mohawk hair crosses the line when he says he'll have sex with Miranda Marina, the Don's niece. Raul II's smile slowly frowns and he says he was expecting such reaction from Lang and he orders his men to take care of Langy. Cohen's gang grab their pipes and they proceed to beat the living crap out of Lang while Osvaldo and Cohen kick him all around and the Don laughs. After the brutal beatdown, not a lot remained of Lang. There was blood coming out of his mouth, ears, eyes, blood coming out of his... you know what. His organs were fractured to the end and his bones smashed and cracked. The Marina Family left his body on the ground as the Don used it as an ashtray before leaving the crime scene.