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This article, Caillou, is property of KGBSpetsnaz. |
| Caillou | |
|---|---|
 Kid Caillou (viewer’s left), and Adult Caillou, known as Saitama, Caped Baldy, or One Punch Man (viewer’s right). | |
| Biographical information | |
| Real name | Caillou Anderson |
| Also known as | Cai, Kai, bald spoiled brat, baldy, Stone/Pebble, One Punch Man, Saitama, Caped Baldy, yuman, Shaven Head, Cansur, Кейллу Consumer of Galaxies |
| Nationality |   French-Canadian
|
| Born | 11th of September, 2001 |
| Age | 18 |
| Status | Alive |
| Birthplace | Some random hospital |
| Physical description | |
| Eye colour | Black |
| Hair colour | Bald |
| Ethnicity | Caucasian-French |
| Height | Something, something |
| Weight | ? |
| Blood type | B+ |
| Gender | Male |
| Career, affiliations and family information | |
| Affiliation(s) | The Barney Bunch, Teletubbies, Mr. Hinkle (former), Dora the Explorer, the Chaos Eighties |
| Enemies | His parents (sometimes), Rosie (sometimes), a lot of people in general |
| Occupation(s) | Some space warrior n' sith, working for the Chaos Eighties |
| Notable family members | Boris (father), Doris (mother), Rosie (younger sister), Rosemary (grandmother), Hadley (grandfather) |
| Video Games, Movies and Cartoons information | |
| Created by | Nancy |
| Voiced by (English) | Kim Kardashian, Jaclyn Linetsky, Bryn McAuley |
Caillou is a whiny little French-Canadian spoiled brat who is part of The Barney Bunch, alongside Barney, Elmo, Dora the Explorer, Chuck E. Cheese, and the Teletubbies. Just like the rest of them, he has secret evil intentions. He sometimes be beating the crap outta Earnest Johnson and his henchmen Fatty Johnson or Algernon Papadopoulos, but he lets them live cause his mum told him to and they were crying, begging him on their knees not to kill them. Sometimes he be freaking bully as well, because Rosie may be snitching on him for no reason, guess she a real cok blocker. Who knows? Some think he has the right to get angry. One time, he hung around the neck of Hal Esposito and almost choked him to death. His WAY-too parents only lightly scolded him for that yet he still cried and whined like a little baby that he is. That was just one out of many instances of his heinous crimes that his parents were just bribed to look the other way. He also once left Karen Johnson tied to a pole, helped Clurkicus steal an innocent victim's soul and made Colton Williams lose control by spitting on his shoes which lead him to be chased all around by Williams' Gang. He barely escaped their clutches out alive.
Since 2016, he has also been working as a part of the Chaosworld's left-wing freedom cult named Chaos Eighties and has been spreading their false propaganda around multiple planets save for Earth... For now.
In 2017, this bald SOB had to face the wrath of Shinnok in the depths of hell, but escaped thanks to Nightwolf (I think it was him, yes) opening a portal to escape back to Earth.