COVID-19

This article, COVID-19, is property of Damon Redwood.

"The year of 2020 has been a very good year! A very awesome year, idk what everyone is complaining about. Look folks, I can't help it but to be a threat to humanity, I am made this way! It's how I live, if I don't spread, I die and I ain't planning on moving any time soon, hehehehehehe! The vaccine won't work! If it does, my anti-vaxx allies will see to it that people will refuse to get it! I've been here for only half a year and yet I have already made great progress, for me at least, dat's what matters. Just ignore me if you wish to live without stress. Ha! I bet y'all only hate me because I come from China! Oh, you goddam racists!"

— COVID-19's speech on podium

COVID-19 aka the irresistible (literally) CORONA Virus or Coronavirus is just some flying invisible ball (thicc and sexy, doe) who causes misery, death and destruction everywhere she shows her lil' rear end. Or so we're told... She is less deadly than Ebola, but way more spreadable as she been travelling the entire world. "First... My BOWLS! And then... THE WORLD!" Yells 'Rona. But unlike Ebola, Covid gets defeated by a fuaking vaccine, meaning she hates science.

However, COVID has nothing on the Undead Plague, the Bubonic Plague, Smallpox, Justin Bieber's bieber-fever or a bunch of other diseases made by the shady Dixmor Project, like AIDS, but AIDS can't go from person to person.

She is a bit weak, doe, as a simple facemask and hand sanitizer already causes her to dry off a bit, but not too much. Well, sometimes it depends on your age. Anywho, those vaccines really killed her as off, didn't they?

She makes people buy a lot of toilet paper for some reason, especially 'Muricans.

The world was experiencing five freaking wave of the Virus, none of which did any serious damage, unlike the fuaking Undead plague with her Zombies n' sith. Famous ppl who got COVID-19 include Donald Trump, the president of the United States and some other presidents.

Creation[]

Now, there's a few theories as to how this beautiful but deadly virus was created.

Some Chinaman ate a bat and Corona came out, lmao (accepted theory).
Barack Obama, Murkoff Dixmor and Bill Gates created the bat carrying the COVID-19 and send it to China whilst having a meeting in the basement of Starbucks. They also made the vaccine for it and sold it to the Russkies.
It was those dam Republicans! Frank Kenson & his cult created it for depopulation. Either that or it were the Dems with Sanders and Biden being the masterminds.
Moonman did it and threw it on China from a plane.
Gait saw it, Gait did it.
Jesus knocked over some potions.
Sektor did it.
China created it by polluting those G5 networks into the air.

How it really happened[]

Dixmor Project created it and spread it around the world for their depopulation plan. DAS RYE! DAS RITE!
- Also people eat too much meat.
  - Like that bat.

Killstreak[]

A lot of China
Half of Spain
Most of Italy
Two teens in France
A bunch of old folk in Slovenia, around 1000+ deaths already
A bunch of folk in America, especially in California, New York City and etc.
One or two in Russia
A lot of Austria
One person in Australia
A bunch of religious folk or something
Some peeps in Germany
Some folk in Japan
A lot of people in South Korea
A lot of older folk in Pakistan
Big Arm Tony
Jack Primola
Hugo Slawter
James Donnell
A bunch of folk in general all over the world
400+ folk in Belgium
Alonso
Some ppl in UK
Vučić's son
A lot of South America
The bible belt America
In general it killed almost billion of ppl

Some good things she did[]

Schools are on lockdown! Hell yeah! Well, we have online classes, but it's a lot better than dragging your lazy backside to school.
Weirdly enough, them animals were coming out from their bases and into places they usually wouldn't spawn in.
Them mask and coffin companies will be rich.
The Earth seemed to be healing as there was no plane smoke polluting in the air, no vehicles stinking up our Mother, no annoying people walking everywhere and talking and not getting in your way. Ha! COVID-19 is a biased vegan, which is weird how she likes to stick to meat.
She made Cetrion happy.
She's the reason those awesome vaccines were made in the 1st place.

Failed kill[]

That loony Kenneth Copeland tried to kill COVID-19 in one of his talk shows back in March, but failed miserably. Cope ain't got no power over Shinnok, none of Dixmors' creations!

Trivia[]

Covid-19 is just natural selection, really.
Slovenia's politicians say the Corona virus will last for around five more years, but I doubt it. Billy Gates said much the same.
Covid-19's dyin'.