This article, Book of Hell, is property of Demon Redwood. |
The Book of Hell is a book from the Netherworld, formerly known as the Never Never Land, that was written by Chernobog and his assistant, Baphomet Williams, and explores his endeavours on Earth once he took power from Shinnok. The book was released on August, 24 AH or 2024 and put on eBay and Amazon, where one can order it online.
The sponsor of the book is Mayer Cobblepot, aka the Penguin, a criminal mastermind from Earth, with stocks and trade down in the Netherworld as well.
Description[]
For all of you humans still clinging to past ideas, I, Baphomet Williams, am here to educate and enlighten you on who the true God is - Lord Chernobog. I understand that humanity is used to reading old religious text from the Middle East and sees those said texts as the ultimate truth, but the truth is that they are flawed copies from the religious, myths and theologies that came before. But King Chernobog is something else. He is the mastermind himself. He actually managed to dethrone an Elder God, that being Shinnok and is not someone any living creature in space should take lightly. Did you miss him? Admit it, you missed him. He came to the Netherworld as a demon that terrorised all around and wandered the lands of the planet, back when it was known as the Never Never Land, aeons ago, acquiring knowledge and power necessary to dethrone a being as powerful as the Dark Lord, Shinnok. With his defeat, one could say that time itself is younger than him. Here on this planet, even death herself dies, for he is the balance, the author of life. Wherever our Master treads, demonic legions arise, fire burning down from the sky. Shinnok's remaining minions are scorched, it is the end of their rule and life. You may be wondering how such a powerful being is even possible? Well, strap to your seatbelts and listen, as Lord Chernobog will shed light on his bizarre origins, his sinister effects he has since made on human history, the Kahn family's most embarrassing secrets, and the key to overthrowing the world and destroying the Earth. This chaotic and beautifully illustrated tome contains baffling riddles, uncrackable ciphers that even Eddie Nigma can't figure, lost religious texts, ways to cheat death, the meaning of life, and a whole chapter on Frank Kenson. But most importantly, The Book of Hell is deeply, deeply cursed, so read it at your own peril. Who knows? Maybe today is the last day you'll ever breathe. Live everyday as if it's your last day, because Chernobog is a mystery no Holmes, no Dark Knight, no McCain and no Columbo can crack. When you do die, and enter Hell, you'll be met by our governmental system, reshaped and re-moulded recently to fit Chernobog, after his dethroning of Shinnok. After a while, it is possible that you will encounter our Dark God Himself, hell, it's a certainty. Make sure to show him some sympathy, some courtesy, some taste. Use your all known politeness or he'll lay your soul to waste, as the Walking Pebbles would say. Hell, if you're lucky, you might be able to cut a deal with Our Master, if he feels you are worthy, BUT beware: Once you make a deal with Chernobog, it's not so easily undone... - Baphomet Williams welcomes you once you open the book.
Concerning the book's contents, it begins with a passage from Barack Obama, the former US President, questioning if Shinnok is really dead, since he is aware of his dethroning and ponders the thought. This is because Obama is part of the Dixmor Project and is aware of the events taking place above or below Earth as well. Reading this book, the Book of Hell, explains that Shinnok is indeed still alive, but hides in secrecy on the lava planet he once owned. The book has specific rules written at the starting page, like a warning to not skip the pages, vandalise it or worship false and foreign gods, especially those from Heaven. Chernobog himself then invites the reader to make a deal with him in exchange for learning secrets he retains. Following an official introduction by Chernobog, he begins to reveal his story and his take over of the world through various chapters.
First, Chernobog introduces himself as a creature or a demon of "wealth and taste", as Baphomet described him, and gives readers a run down of his powers and weaknesses. Ahahahahaha! You really thought he had weaknesses? You fools really fall for any joke there is, don't ya'? That's rich! Following a section of "required reading" of "The Great Gates of Hell" by Q. Chi, Chernobog offers to share his secrets of the universe after a test of worthiness.
Our Lord Chernobog reveals secrets about the universe that you could have only guessed: Reality is an illusion and nothing really matters, except his rules and his path to power. He then discusses humans and how disgusting their morality, culture, planet and appearance in general is. He says that he can't ever imagine being something so disgusting as a human, but contemplates the fact that the animals have it even worse on Earth. He contributes this harsh reality to evolution, and wishes it were different, but admits that human is clearly the strongest animal on the planet the man inhabits. He then goes into detail about love and shares his thoughts on it and tips to dating, although he himself has no love for anybody, has no wife, no kids, nor anything of the kind. However, being immortal, he doesn't really need it. Following a game of how the reader will eventually die, Chernobog discusses the role of the planets, the Gods and the parallel dimensions. He then discusses various urban legends and explains which ones are true and which ones aren't. He knows this for a fact, for his legions, who secretly walk the Earth, report everything back to him. Chernobog later explains all of the Faustian deals or bargains and which one to take or not take. He explains the said bargains even in a metaphorically way of speaking, claiming a person may agree to an arrangement in which they give up something valuable in order to receive something highly desired. He also explains that these things happen all the time in the Netherworld and on Earth. After assuring readers there are no codes in his book (which is a lie), Chernobog shows off his horrible heads collection, his victims' flayed skin collection, a collection of their skulls, collection of their hair that they pulled out during the torture they endured, collection of the teeth he pulled out of their mouths, without anaesthesia of course, and lastly, he shows us a large cauldron-like pit, where sinners and other lost souls are drowning in the lake of fire and screaming on the top of their lungs to be left alone. Chernobog only smiles wickedly and says to the souls "Not a chance".
In the next section, Chernobog talks about the gossips and the dreams of various Kahn family members and other political characters. Most of these characters are already dead, but their minds regenerate and stay in tact in Hell, which Chernobog rules and from there he can absorb their minds. Once he absorbed their dreams, they're returned back to reality from their frozen state and realise their painful surroundings as they're in the deepest pits of Hades. Their dreams are as follows:
- Shao: Dreams about regaining his powers and defeating Azazel, although only for a brief moment, before he remembers the agony he must endure, being trapped in the pits of Hell.
- Sindel: Despite dying as a revenant, loyal to Shinnok, some of her memories were regained or restored and she dreams about becoming an Edenian once again, ruling her planet with her kids (who she cannot remember) and King Jerrod at her side.
- Mileena: Dreams about becoming beautiful, aka not having any more of her ugly Tarkatan features. These false dreams continue to be false and she suffers in Hell mostly because her low self-esteem forbids her from acquiring any level of power in the circles of Hell she inhabits.
Kitana: Dreams are a mix of her mother and real father ruling Edenia in peace, however she has constant nightmares about her surrogate father, Shao Kahn, killing her true father and the death of Liu Kang.
- Skarlet: Nothing too particular or deep, just about eating pudding cups filled with blood. She sometimes dreams about opening her "father's" (Shao's) belly open and drinking all of his blood, for not seeing her as his successor.
- Ermac: Dreams about being able to be a singular being and rule an united Outworld and Edenia.
- Meat: Meat has nightmares about being experimented on by Shang Tsung and Sektor. Also wishes to gain a physical form, suffers the same way as Mileena.
- Barack Obama: Dreams about running for a third term, but knows that he's no FDR and that he can't, even if the people want him to run for a third time. He also dreams about Kenson never gaining power again and world domination with the help of Dixmor Project.
- Kotal Kahn: Dreams about returning to his former glory as the Emperor of Outworld and reviving his Rodian race. However, he knows this is impossible and suffers like the rest of his family in Hell, particularly like Shao, his half-brother.
- Ket'z: Not important enough to care, but he's in dilemma about his home planet, Rodia.
- Frank Kenson: Has nightmares of losing the elections again, being assassinated or being the sub one in his marriage.
- James Stalker: Has a nightmare of being chased around by Piggsy with a chainsaw, due to his bad treatment of him. This doesn't appear to make Stalker remorseful at all about how he treated him, just scared for his life. He is one sadistic POS after all.
- Sweet Johnson: Has nightmares about his mother getting killed by the Bastet Mob and the Ballas. Wakes up screaming in his sleep, only to realise he's still in Hell, getting tortured by Onis.
Chernobog then proceeds to share embarrassing dreams as well of Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Crash and even Albert Einstein. He talks about Pie's dreams of killing other ponies once again, about Dash taking it up the rear end by her hero, that Henry Marston pony wannabe and uh, says that Einstein's dreams are not easy to decipher, since he went mad before he died and this madness went with him to the afterlife, aka the Netherworld.
Chernobog then talks about the early days from when he was born and how he lived under Shinnok's communist-like rule. He discusses his abilities he learned once he came to power to see the third dimension and how he can read the dreams of those he wants, as it is mentioned above. Although he tries to deny it, it can be seen that he wishes to take over all of the planets one day and kill everyone who opposes his rule on them, in similar role to Azazel, Shao Kahn, Lord Xizle or even Shinnok. However, Chernobog claims he'll conquer the universe for the greater good. Anyway, after many years of living under Shinnok's rule, he began to realise that Shinnok is growing weaker by the constant battles with Earth, Raiden and Azazel and Chernobog decided to use this as an opportunity to take over. After manipulating a great deal of Onis and demons to side with him, he waged a war in Hell against Shinnok and his minions, including Noob Sailbot and Smoke. After finally defeating Shinnok and putting his own men in charge of the Never Land's governmental branches, and changing her name to the Netherworld in the process, Chernobog took care of the rest of the rebels who sided with Shinnok in order to make his rule over the planet complete.
After his take over, Chernobog decides to walk to other worlds, like Shinnok before him, to see what none have seen. He eventually comes to Earth, which has recently been protected from any sort of otherworldly invasions by one Queen Almeida; the Goddess of Time itself. These wards barely prevent Chernobog from taking over the planet, but barely still means barely and he realises that he may be able to destroy the wards completely, if there were just one or two or perhaps even three legions of his toughest demons at his side. However, Almeida's wards also prevented him to call onto them telepathically or open a portal to Earth, so he realised he's gonna need to do things the old-fashioned way. Chernobog senses great power and walks over to an empty Valley of Kings in Egypt where ancient gods were worshipped, where he meets a weird priest named Gibdo and convinces to build a portal to other worlds, since he sensed Gibdo's powers and ancient knowledge to do that. Chernobog explains to Gibdo that he'll have the right to rule at his side once the portal is made. However, after Almeida found out about what Chernobog and Gibdo were doing, she burned the almost-constructed portal and banned Chernobog and Gibdo from the valley with a curse and put another protective ward over Egypt. Banished from the Middle East in general, Chernobog and Gibdo travel the world on Chernobog's haunted ship, and attempt to find a good spot to get their portal built. However, whenever they find such a spot, Almeida destroys their progress and King Chernobog begins to wonder if it is possible to destroy her from hindering his progress. Gibdo explains to him that he has never felt as power as strong as hers before in his life. Knowing this, the two opt to have the portal built in areas where there were more human activities and people present, to throw Almeida off guard. The Dark Lord could easily blend into these places with a magic cloak, concealing his demonic features. The two would even explain their plans to some of them, like Zen Tuo and his mob they met in California, a druid sect of ancient Celtic religions near Stonehenge and even members of the Ásatrúarfélagið religion in Reykjavik, Iceland. However, Almeida eventually discovered the two due to the spiritual disturbance she felt in the places they happened to travel to and destroyed the constructions before they could ever be finished. Eventually Almeida is so fed-up with the two that she traps them in an ancient disk, where the two are frozen for a few. However, Chernobog's power happens to be too great even for the disk and it eventually shatters due to his negative energy, releasing him and Gibdo. Luckily for the two, their escape goes unnoticed, as Almeida, in her arrogance, believes that Chernobog has no chance of ever escaping and doesn't even bother to check on him or his priest ally. Now freed, Lord Chernobog and Gibdo know that they must be very cautious not to alarm a careless Almeida. However, they quickly relax once they find out that she uses has gone on vacations to Orinion, away from all of this "protecting" the Earth business. The two eventually travelled back to America, where Chernobog explains to Gibdo that Shinnok, Almeida's son and former ruler of Hades, once wanted to take over the Earth with a help of a secret society called the Dixmor Project. Dark Lord thought that if he found the said society, he'd be able to convince them to worship him instead and gain his favour once his take over with his legions would be complete. The two wandered the libraries and museums filled with knowledge but found little clues, until eventually, they came across a Skull & Bones temple, where they revealed themselves to the owner of said temple and his sect which were just having a meeting. The leader/owner of the temple turned out to be Victor Dixmor and although conflicted due to his Azazelian religion, him and his cult decided to play a part in Chernobog's scheme, away from Almeida's prying eyes. The demonic Dark King laughed in satisfaction, while Victor also realised that perhaps his and Azazel's goals would align and the two demonic deities could potentially team up to defeat Almeida. The following chapter will indeed be a read of the ages.
Seeing that the Project leader will now dance to his whistling tunes, Chernobog asks Victor to try and use his advanced Project Priests to start working on the build of his portal. After that failed when the Priests were found and imprisoned by Almeida (but not the Project itself, Gibdo or Chernobog), Victor tried to see if nuclear testing could make his new boss' work, only to have him be stopped by his relatives before he could cause a nuclear winter... prematurely. Gibdo then sees that it's up to him once again to do the deed, now that he has gained back his powers from being imprisoned. The next day, Gibdo, the Dark Lord, Victor Dixmor and his top men, including his relatives, like Murkoff and James, meet in the secret underground bunker at the Project's Base, where Gibdo was finally ready and free to complete his ritual to open up a portal to Hell. Finally, after an hour and a half, Chernobog could feel the power surging through him personally, his planet's portal opening up and he laughed so hard that even the rest of the Project had to check just what was going on. When they came to the base, legions upon legions of demons came into the room, completely jamming it, while some were still waiting to be called out. They all stood still and awaited the Dark Lord's commands.
With just a gesture of his hand, the demons ran out of the base and even more and more of them came out of the portal. A million in numbers, they charged into the city, started to devour people and started killing everyone who resisted. With the world slowly under attack and the news spreading worldwide, the Project, Gibdo and Chernobog walked up to the oval office of President Joe Biden. Quite frankly, o'l dementia Joe forget even where the hell he is, so Kamala Harris, his VP, greeted the Dark Lord himself. Chernobog allowed himself to be introduced by Gibdo, he was a demon of wealth and taste. He'd been around for a long long year, sold many men's soul to waste.
Despite initial shock, Harris knew the score and she asked Chernobog if it was her time to become President yet considering Joe's senility, but Chernobog coldly told her: "No, there is another.", referring to Carmella Ford. Harris was like "Who tf is that?", while Chernobog explained to her how she needs to make sure Biden stays in power until the next elections where he'll explain otherwise and he ordered Victor Dixmor to continue with his Project. Vic nodded and wrote some new lines for Biden to say now that he has to address the demonic horde situation, while Chernobog and Gibdo disappear to find Carmella Ford. Meanwhile, Almeida is still on vacation on Orinion and has little to no idea on what's going on on Earth. Chernobog then goes to Carmella Ford's apartment in New York, as He knows everything and he introduces himself to her as well. Ford is in fact an aspiring politician and she recently joined the Democratic party. She tried contacting Chernobog in the past, through a grimoire and Chernobog knew exactly who she was. Lord Chernobog explained to her that she is his next choice for the President of US and explained to her what she must do to get elected at the end of the year and beat the aspiring Kenson. Although this gives Ford some hope, she claims she is basically unknown in politics and says that basically anyone else has more chance. Chernobog told her not to worry about this. One day after seeing one of Kenson's scams on TV, Ford is even more sure that she is gonna lose, but Chernobog advises Ford to forget the past and move on, finally revealing that his plan is to claim that she has an answer against the demonic legions that plague the world and that this'll be her ticket to the White House. When Carmella curiously asked how he managed to destroyed Shinnok and take his planet over, Chernobog admitted that he couldn't destroy Shinnok completely and the old fossil, as he called him, is still hiding somewhere underground on the Netherworld, but he pays little attention to that and doesn't bother himself with it. Ford, replied that Shinnok "was a monster." Chernobog joylessly laughs and says, "Carmella, wait until you get to know me."
Carmella then discusses Christmas and how she plans on using that holiday to make the demons submit and return to Hell. At least on surface. She also says she can easily appeal to the christian conspiracy theorists by warning them of an impending War on Christmas and how she can prevent that if she is elected. Chernobog says that she's thinking smart and with this topic she can easily sway even most of the Republicans to her side. When discussing a potential Vice president or right-hand, however, Carmella was clueless on the subject. That's when Chernobog told her that he has a man in mind for role: Gary Spring. Chernobog explained to Carmella that he's been in this bizzo for ages, experienced in the Satanic arts and thus would be perfect for the role. On Labour Day, Carmella spend time alone with her family, unconcerned about the demonic legions terrorising the city as people wanted to celebrate their fav communist-name-sounding holiday in peace. After being rescued from a nearby demon resembling Krampus by her husband, Greg Ford, who returned early to spend the day together, Carmella makes it up to him by playing his favourite song on the holiday night. However, Chernobog returns and after an argument with the said Krampus minion, and convinces Ford to be cautious of her husband, planting in her the mindset to "TRUST NO ONE."
Ford eventually gets a warning in her dreams about Chernobog in an anagram that read "YOU WILL OBEY" which she believes is evidence of his upcoming dictatorship. Although she always assumed his true intentions, she never suspected them to be so close to fruition, although she should, considering how his legions have been wreaking chaos over the world for a month now. With elections coming up and upper, Chernobog and Gibdo even possess some unwitting souls to go and vote for Ford, while Kenson arrogantly proclaims his victory prematurely and already talks about creating Kenson's Dictatorship 2. After many attempts at stopping him, Frank awakes one morning, naked on the roof of the top of his tower only to find a video tape Chernobog had made of various sexual, humiliating and degrading things he did to while Chernobog possessed him that night. This was a warning to Kenson to either dropout of the elections or lose them on purpose, or else the video would be made public.
Kenson eventually concedes and drops the campaign and his VP, Michael Vance, is the next Republican nominee, but he sucks and Ford eventually becomes elected President on 5th of November on the election day. Right into the presidency, Chernobog gives Ford 72 hours to make the United States worship him and drop all of the defences made against the demonic hoards. Knowing the stakes have never been higher and craving this power, Ford went back on all the promises she made to the worried and desperate public, instead dismantling the police and the military and welcomed the coming Armageddon. Desperate, her husband Greg sees Ford and Spring on the presidential stand giving a demonic speech, and tries to stop them. This eventually leads to the incident that leads Greg to be lost in the depths of Hell.
TBA, ofc...