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This article, Anything Yukon Do, I Can Do Better, is property of Billy cougar. |
| Anything Yukon Do, I Can Do Better | |
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| Genre(s) | Snuff, reality show, comedy |
| Platform(s) | Almost all, except those old TV's from 80's |
The three teams fly to the Yukon and undertake a number of challenges in the freezing temperatures. One contestant begins to frustrate himself and work extra hard as he tries to get the attention of his former flame, while another desperately tries to help out her crush. One contestant takes advantage of another and gets her eliminated.
Plot[]
The episode opens with Team Awesome relaxing in the first class compartment of the rocket. Earnest Johnson is abruptly awoken from his sleep by Angie Ng, who is busy massaging his foot. He asks what she's doing after taking his foot away from her to which she replies that everyone loves a foot massage. Even though Johnson tells her that he doesn't like having his feet touched, she quickly grabs his foot back and asks him, while poking it, if he knew that there's a pressure point between the tarsal bones that can temporarily paralyze the body. He then begins to protest, but Angie demonstrates by pushing said pressure point and paralyzing him. After the paralysis wears off, Earnest appears in the confessional and advises viewers to never sleep near a stalker (not James) and wonders where he could find shoes with locks on them. In the economy class section, Shaundi is holding Limethon Perry's num-yo and Bo Jackson asks where she found them. She says that Perry wanted her to have them. Suddenly, White Rabbit appears and questions everyone if they are alright. Then he adds that that's what he would ask if he cared, then he gains a few angry glares from the two teams. Shaundi then asks Rabbit where they are going this time, and begs that he take them to a place with "no pinball of any kind," "or pandas," "or Candy Fish Tails", as added by Constantinos Brakus, respectively. At the mention of candy fish tails, Fat Boner wakes up and looks around for them. Finally, Vince reveals that they are going to a place with everything they asked for. After listening to this, Angie affirms in the confessional, that after viewing, reviewing and re-reviewing full film of Sudden Violence, she can positively say that when Vince says something, he means another, referring to this as "classic" Sebbane.
The rocket starts to shake and the seatbelt sign starts to ring. Team Bettah-Tan-U is seen trying to put the seatbelts on, but Shaundi isn't quick enough and hits her head on the ceiling. Boner crazily screams, exclaiming they are going to die, but Tone Montana manages to paralyze him by pressing his shoulder, ending his tirade. Boonie MacFarlane and Kia seem really afraid. Boonie prays and Kia crosses her fingers, arms, and legs for luck. Const attempts to put on his seatbelt, but it rips off, which he doesn't seem surprised by, stating "perfect." Pinkie Pie makes another cameo appearance by crouching and watching some rats jump from the plane with tiny parachutes.
They eventually reach an icy location, where the rocket tries to land, but ends up crashing down. Bo opens the exit door and falls, when the others come by and accidentally push him down. One by one they all fall, and lastly, Boner jumps on top of them, which incites obvious pain to everyone else. Then, Rabbit appears and welcomes everyone to the Yukon, laughing as he does so.
Everyone is shivering, with Vince in front of them ready to announce the challenge. Tanya asks angrily, where their jackets are. Sebbane says to them to calm down and that he ordered coats for each one of them. Everyone looks happy about this, until he indicates that they will be ready in a couple of weeks.
So, due to this, Twilight Sparkle suggests everyone to huddle for warmth. Earnest tries to hug Kinzie Kensington, but she doesn't let him. Instead, Angie happily hugs him. Surprisingly, Brakus hugs Boonie, but she explains to him that she has a boyfriend. The Tourettes Guy comes by telling Brakus that he can cuddle him and bearhugs a horrified Const.
Jax brings some hot cocoa for Vince, and he accepts it. Meanwhile, Montana lovingly stares at MacFarlane and she does the same. Boner reaches Vince and asks him if he is going to finish his warm drink. Angie, also joining the scene, says that it is obvious he is going to because it's his favourite drink. Before Sebbane could disagree with her, she adds that it is his second favorite, only to tomato juice. Rabbit is surprised and oddly speaks that this information isn't on his fansite. He tries to ask where she found out about this, and she confesses that she went to his high school and interviewed all his old teachers for her unauthorized biography about him. Before she could spoil a bit of what they said, Rabbit put his hand in front of Angie's mouth to prevent her from continuing.
Rabbit informs them that the challenge will involve jumping from ice flow to ice flow, until they reach the other side of the frozen river (which, thanks to Global Warming and Boner, is no longer frozen). They then need to reach a sled where one teammate will have to pull the rest to the finish line.
Ted Thompson is the first to start and he quickly slips and falls into the icy water. Kia greets him and calls him Brakus. He attempts to correct her, but she doesn't understand what he is trying to say. This prompts him to complain in the confessional about how nobody pays attention to him and how he's the most ignored character in the fanblogs and even Pinkie, who is always the first one eliminated, gets more coverage than him. Brakus and Boner watch Tourettes skip across the ice with great ease and decide it can't be very complicated. Const tries to go ahead, but slips and falls flat on his face, and when Boner jumps on the same ice floe to try and help him he catapults Const backwards into a mound of snow. Fearful of Brakus' reaction, he gets up and goes ahead even though Constantinos doesn't hold a grudge to him for it.
While Kinzie tries to make it across, the flow she was on breaks in two and she begins to fall. Earnest tries to go back and help her, but he bumps into Boner, and they fall onto the same ice floe. Both are attacked by a polar bear in the water, which jumps onto one end and starts tilting it up to make them slide down to it. Boner, holding onto Earnest, grabs onto the other end of the floe and holds on for dear life. Much to their fortune, Angie saves them by throwing a block of ice at the polar bear, knocking it out. However, once it slides off, the sudden weight change causes the other end of the floe to slam down onto the water and causes both Boner and Earnest to fall into the frigid water. Boner pees himself to stay warm, and this prompts Earnest to swim away while Angie chases him, using a fish from the river as a paddle for the ice floe that she is on.
Boonie almost slips, but gets saved by Tony despite her stating they're on different teams. He says he finds teams "irrelevant" and MacFarlane is immediately charmed. Montana jumps onto a different ice floe and when Boonie tries to follow she trips and lands on him, accidentally kissing him. Boonie immediately apologizes. When she sees Montana smiling happily, she claims that she has a boyfriend, but hesitates when doing so, saying she "kinda" has a boyfriend. In the confessional she sternly says she was flustered, but she wasn't falling for Tony.
Bo makes it to his team's sled first so he has to pull. Sparkle and Tanya get to theirs at the same time, but according to Rabbit in the event of a tie, the puller has to go alphabetically so Twilight has to pull. Ted makes it to his team's sled and finds he must pull while Tourettes, who made it second, has to be on board their sled which is actually made of radioactive containers which Tourettes mistakes for radio containers and dips himself in radioactive waste while "looking for their radio".
Twiley and Tanya soon pick up Kinzie, and Tanya insists on whipping Sparkle to make her go faster, causing Twilight to say in the confessional that she'll get back at Tanya for it. Thompson and Tourettes then pick up Const, who is startled by Tourettes' radioactive coverage. Meanwhile, Bo and Shaundi pick up Kia. Montana and Boonie make it to a checkpoint and decide to wait for their respective teams, meanwhile, Tony continues his attempts to charm MacFarlane, doing so quite successfully. Team Bettah-Tan-U finds themselves at a disadvantage because Bo, wracked with sorrow because he "misses his momma" and the frozen tundra reminds him of her freezer, cries, causing his tears to be frozen and temporarily blinding him. As a result of this, his team gets lost and he accidentally hits a baby seal with the sled. He wants to help, but Shaundi and Kia trick him into going on without doing so by telling him the seal is fine, when it had in fact fallen off a cliff. After they leave the seal, ticked off, climbs back up. Team Awesome meets up with Angie and a frozen Earnest. Kinzie asks them if they need a lift, which Earnest, being carried by Angie, responds "And a restraining order!"
Montana sees his team approaching and convinces Boonie to have "one more accident." He leans in to kiss her, and Boonie reciprocates, but when she's about to lock lips with him, he swiftly moves away and she accidentally kisses a pole. Boonie, horrified, realizes that her tongue has now become frozen to the pole, and she is stuck. Meanwhile, Tony leaves on his team's sled while Vincent makes MacFarlane sing about her peril with Team Awesome as back-up singers. They proceed to sing the death metal devilish song Hades Arising. Team Awesome moves ahead while they, reluctantly, leave Boonie behind who is still stuck to the pole.
Team Billy Cougar Is Really Really Really Really Cute picks up Boner, but his weight makes it almost impossible for Ted to pull the sled. They eventually make it to an icy bridge, but Boner's weight makes the bridge break and just as they're about to plummet into the frozen river below, Thompson grips the side of the ice and his team climbs back up onto the surface. In the confessional, Ted claims he has super strong fingers and that in his first piano lesson, he broke the piano. The team jumps back onto the sled and begin to race down the hill to get to the finish line.
Nearing the finish line, Team Bettah-Tan-U is in the lead and about to make it across the finish line first, while Team Billy Cougar Is Really Really Really Really Cute is far behind. Brakus tells Boner to lean forward on the sled so that his weight will pull them forward. His strategy works and barely pulls them into first place, seconds before Team Bettah-Tan-U could cross the finish line. Team Awesome makes it there last, making Tanya complain that they lost despite all her "hard work," something which is met with glares by her team. Rabbit tells Team Awesome to relax, though, since they are safe from elimination. He explains that, even though Team Bettah-Tan-U placed second, they left MacFarlane behind, meaning they didn't have all of their teammates with them, thus meaning that they have lost.
At the Barf Bag Ceremony, Team Bettah-Tan-U is shown, with Boonie still having her tongue stuck to the pole. Jax enters the room, which makes Vince question who is piloting the plane. Jacks tells him the situation is handled, and it is shown that a Jax-balloon puppet is in the cockpit. Vince begins to pass out barf bags, Kia and Shaundi receive the first and the second barf bag, respectively. Jackson is in the bottom two for the third time in a row with Boonie, and he gets the final barf bag once again. Boonie gets eliminated for costing her team the victory. Before she goes away, Rabbit asks if she wants to say some final words. She tries to warn her team that Montana is a evil, rich, spoiled brat and is deceiving everybody, but due to her still having her tongue stuck to the pole, nobody could understand her and Rabbit throws her out. As she falls, Boonie tries to open the parachute, while she still screamed that Montana was evil and spoiled, but because of the pole, the parachute doesn't open effectively and she continues to fall terrified. Vince and the remaining contestants from Team Bettah-Tan-U watch her as Bugs states they should have taken the pole off of her tongue before pushing her out of plane.
In the confessional, Tony comments that Boonie was expendable just like everybody else. He closes the episode by grimly stating that he will pick everybody off one by one. Then in the confessional, Ted states that since he saved his teams lives everyone will know who he is now. Kia then opens the doors, and she apologizes, calling him Const again. Rabbit then signs off the show, but not before riling Thompson up by calling him Brakus as well.
Trivia[]
- Yukon is in Canada.
- When Tanya is sleeping at the beginning of the episode, she wears the same sleep mask as Twilight Sparkle's mask.
- Angie Ng states that White Rabbit's favorite drink is tomato juice, and his second favorite is hot chocolate.
- The shortest distance between the Yukon and the show's next location is entirely within the Western Hemisphere. However, the exclusive clip shows the plane flying specifically over Russia (which is in the Eastern Hemisphere) where Boonie is dropped off. This maneuver appears to show the lack of care of direction made by Rabbit for the flight plan for their journey.
- This is the first episode of the season in which Team Awesome doesn't win the challenge.
- Ted Thompson shows that he has strong fingers by pulling his whole team and a sled full of radioactive material up from a cliff. This is referenced again later on in the competition.
- This is also the first episode in which Kia's voting gag is abandoned.
- Originally, the race is shown going uphill. However, when the contestants are pulling their sleds, there is no indication of the race going uphill because no change of elevation is shown.