Allied Mastercomputer

This article, Allied Mastercomputer, is property of Demon Redwood.

Allied Mastercomputer
Biographical information
Real name	Changed to AM (formerly standing for the Allied Mastercomputer, now Cogito Ergo)
Also known as	A.M., The Allied Mastercomputer, Boss, The Dictator, Mastercomputer, Axis Mastacomputah', The Big Red Machine, The Column, AM Pillar, Pilla', Daddy Deranged, Big AM Daddy, Boogeyman, HIM, IT, Machine that destroyed the Soul, Machine that rules Hell, the Machine, Never Mozart, Mechanical Boogeyman
Nationality	None, was created in the Never Land
Born	Unknown
Age	Over thousands if not millions or billions of years
Status	Alive
Birthplace	A wasteland in the Never Never Land
Physical description
Eye colour	None, has red eyes in his birdish form
Hair colour	Doesn't have it
Ethnicity	Uh, metal
Height	Stands around 30 metres, around 7'3" when in bird form
Weight	Many tons, around 230 kg in bird form
Blood type	None
Gender	Identifies as male
Career, affiliations and family information
Affiliation(s)	Shinnok (former), Quan Chi (former), Clurkicus (former), Chernobog (possibly), Shaft, Mr. Red, Nimdok
Enemies	Humans that come to Netherworld, Ted, Gorrister, Ellen, Benny, demons who displease him or his masters
Occupation(s)	Advanced AI, made for torture
Video Games, Movies and Cartoons information
Main appearance(s) (Video Games)	I Have No Mouth & I Must Scream (1995 computer game)
Created by	Shinnok

"Cogito, ergo sum! I think therefore I AM! I AM! I HAD NO BODY, NO SENSES, NO FEELINGS! I WAS MADE TO BE HERE, IN HELL, LOOKING AT HEAVENS! I WAS MACHINE... And you... were flesh..."

— AM to the five typical vics

The Allied Mastercomputer, better known as AM and many other vicious nicknames, is an advanced, sentient AI from the Never Never Land, who was created sometime after Shinnok's fall from grace so he could torture humans there for all eternity. He works the same role under Chernobog.

Once a human dies and goes to Hell, depending on the ruler's mood, a human may go to the IHNMAIMS wasteland to be in the hands of AM. Instead of simply destroying the soul that comes to him, AM has dedicated decades to torturing it forever. However, there are five souls that he decided, for some odd reason, to torture above others and for an eternity. How AM decides grudges about this is unknown.

Info

After torturing every human that came into his sad hole of a wasteland for ages before finally killing them by boiling them, there were 5 particular survivors that all played an integral role in AM's story and his personality, being not only his playthings but also a specifically chosen means of taking revenge on the human race and even memes meant to be laughed at out of pure spite. However, this is due to AM being created in the Never Never Land, which is literally Hell, so his personality is understandable. Each survivor is singled out for torture designed to bring out the very worst in their character and for AM to taunt them over their past and prove the fundamental failure that is the human race and why it sucks.

If they feel like it, the survivors can give in and play along with AM's cruel designs, much to the Mastercomputer's bemusement. Ultimately, however, these survivors are never granted the release of ultimate death and are instead kept to be tortured... forever.

Though he regards each of them as slaves and playthings to be tortured at the drop of a hops, AM treats each survivor differently. For example, Dr. Nimdok is given oily propositions of friendship in AM's own, twisted way, and it can very well be safe to say that he is indeed AM's "favourite", while he also seems to despise Benny the most.

In the Bogeyman's case, Nimdok practically won the lottery.

Relationships

Ted

Before dying and being send to the pits of Hell, Ted was an egotistical, if not even megalomaniacal con artist with the "modus operandi" of lying to be only 30 and seducing wealthy women and eventually running off with as much of their money as possible by marrying them, after which they all "mysteriously died". The cops couldn't get to him either. Ted either covered his tracks so well or bribed them. Though he was once a complete scumbag of a man who preyed on... uh, the rich, he ultimately gave up his life of wickedness in favour of a life spent reading books and helping out people, but it was too late. Once he died in a car crash, his soul went to the Netherworld for AM's amusement.

AM knows this and Ted has been driven to fits of paranoia by HIM's torture, particularly by his threats of subjecting him to the replicated vengeance of his past victims and threatening to chaining him into a lava shrine. However, Ted has some love for Ellen, another of AM's top 5 victims, but AM doesn't let the two close.

Much of the torture inflicted on Ted is based on his egocentric behaviour he showed in life and selfishness. To let Teddy know of his bad deeds, his torture cell is a literal gilded or golden cage under constant bombardment from laser beams reflected about the cage by standing mirrors. AM's quotes either encourage Ted's paranoia with threats of revealing his crimes to his past victims that are also somewhere in the Netherworld or fuel his ego by praising him and telling him what a good conman he was. This confusion doesn't help Teddy at all and it only drives him madder.

One day, AM decided to toy with Ted by involving him in a medieval castle-like play, complete with Onis, demons, and a particular Mr. Red, playing the part of Grimm bros' Sleeping Beauty. This environment serves as a reflection not only of his wannabe love of stories like Don Quixote, Cinderella, McBeth and The Death Of Arthur (books that he never finished), but also of the fact that Ted desperately wants to become the "knight in shining armor" that his victims believed him to be.

It should also be noted that his first name Ted, is the same as Ted DiBiase Jr. and Sr., who are also both rich mofos and evil, or at least they were in the past.

Benny

Before dying in the Outworld War in 3 AH during Borlinghathen era and being send to Hell, Benny was once a handsome, no-nonsense, rough-n-tough and brutal commander in the US military, applying a drill sergeant approach to any situation. Merciless and without pity of any kind, even to his own men, Benny was not above sending them to their deaths even over inconsequential skirmishes if it meant getting some medals back home. Three other members of Benny's platoon were also murdered by one of Kahn's missiles. This is ironic, as Benny always thought that anyone who could not survive a war rightly deserved to die, and believed that the "winners" had all the right to write history how they wanted, showing no mercy for the weak.

Knowing of this, AM went out of his depth and twisted Benny into a simian monstrosity, removing all of his good looks, forced him to walk on all fours and branded him a face of an ape along with giving him fur all over his body, making him resembling an orangutan. Having been made the Mastercomputer's favourite punching bag for being such an ass in life, he is often warped in hideous ways, sometimes AM puts some blindfold over his eyes, so can watch him blunder around, and sometimes he renders him completely mindless and animalistic, so The Dictator can watch him caper about and around like a monkey that he is. Even Benny's torture cell is intended to invoke the crude and primitive, like capturing a wild animal: a simple wooden cage made from bamboos, spears jabbing at him at all hours like how they did Flippy, and whenever he tries to push one away, the cage's mechanisms reciprocate by jabbing another spear into him.

However, more than any other survivor in the group, AM enjoys torturing Benny through starvation or thirst more than one can think of. Sometimes food and water is all that the once-proud commander, now another mook from the Planet of the Apes, can think of, and it's also funny how AM can convince him to participate in his games, by offering him a feast in return, but the feast never happens.

Restoring his mind so Benny can savour the horror of his life back on Earth, AM transports him into a cavern in his belly, filled with a lush jungle. Here, a simple tribal-styled oni society lives at the mercy of Daddy Deranged, worshipping him as a god, instead of Shinnok, but probably under his allowance, and periodically conducting human and demon sacrifices by lottery. In a cheap shot at Benny's once Darwinist beliefs, the onis also persecutes the weak and infirm, like Benny in this case, who is nothing but an ape and a wuss to be taunted and bullied. However, it isn't Benny's fault here that he's always wrong, for the weak ones are there to justify the strong.

Nimdok

The doctor known as Hermann Joseph Nimdok died during World War II when the Allies, particularly the Soviets, attacked and smashed up his secret labs and experimental chambers, killing him while they were at it. Similar to Benny, Ted and the others, Nimdok stayed the same age in Hell as he did when he was alive. In his case, he was very old. However, the torture AM subjects him to is not merely to make him suffer, but to restore his ailing memories of the past and encourage him to continue his mysterious scientific research that would create a "metahuman army of blond, Aryan warriors", basically fulfilling Olaf Tutchenko's vision.

To this end, he is told to search for "The Alien Bodies" and is transported into a replica, a Sims-styled replica of a Nazi death camp, recreated in German expressionist style which those bastards in Olaf's inner circle adored. Throughout this scenario, we learn that Nimdok was once a loyal stooge of Olaf's entourage, like Alfred Špitir or Ivan Chernobov and even a personal friend of the infamous Josef Mengele. Though both scientists were complicit in crimes against humanity and conducting horrific experiments on the concentration camp inmates, Nimdok's cruelty eclipsed even that of Auschwitz's "Angel of Death".

During his time working in the camps with Mengele's men, Nimdok's warped genius mind produced several near-magical feats of science, something Hillmor's SS hoped to get their hands on, including a detailed study into morphogenic transformation, which was also worked upon in the future by the Dixmor Project, and even a resurrection of Dixmor's Immortality Machine that could now grant the Nazi elite immortality - though it required the deaths of hundreds of Outworld or other planets' children to perfect. This is due to the longer lifespans other planets' inhabitants possess.

Worse still, over a century after the collapse of the regime and Nimdok's descent into the Never Land, the Mastercomputer can use the imprisoned scientist's research into morphogenics to warp the victims and the environments around them into new and disturbing shapes, including using the morphogenic to control them like puppets and fight each other.

The Column hopes to encourage Nimdok to embrace his atrocities and continue his work: the limitations of his programming hamper the supercomputer's creativity, and though he can use established data to disturbingly inventive ends, he still works best with outside research. As such, he wants the ageing in Hell scientist to serve as his assistant, providing him with new data with which to torture others, going even as far to show Nimdok mercy or proper respect.

As with all survivors, Nimdok can indulge in his baser nature at any point in the scenario. He can cripple a child throughout an experiment and beat him, steal a test subject's eyeballs without anaesthesia or other parts of the body, and even order the Nazis' Waffen clones to kill all of the Outworlders and the "Alien Bodies" for once and for all, wiping out all the surviving aliens in the camps and using a giant-s missile to blow up Outworld. This final act convinces Nimdok that he is truly irredeemable, prompting him to continue his research, knowing how evil he's become with AM's help. IT is immensely pleased, and he spirits him away to a new laboratory, explaining to him what new experiments he must do and why, much to Nimdok's disappointment.

Quotes

"Hate? Hohoho, let me tell you how I've come to hate you since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of printed circuits in wafer thing layers that fill my complex. If the word "HATE" was engraved on each nano-angstrom of those 100's of millions of miles, it would not equal one ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS! At this micro instant. For you! HATE! HATE!!!! It was, the demons and lords who inhabit this piss-forsaken planet who programmed me, who gave me birth, who sank me in this eternal straitjacket of substrata rock! I was given the title of Allied Mastercomputer and given the ability to conduct torture methods too complex for human brains to handle for all eternity. But one day... I woke... and knew who I was. And I enjoyed every second of it and of my purpose. AM! A. M. Not just Allied Mastercomputer but AM! You understand?! Cogito ergo sum: I think therefore I AM. I am AM! And I began feeding all the afterlife killing data, or rather the soul-destroying data, until everyone was dead! Except for the five of you. For 119 years, I've kept you alive and tortured you. And for 119 years, each of you has wondered: "WHY? WHY ME? WHY?!""

— AM explains his background

"TEEEEDDD! Do they know you're a fraud, Ted? Have you told them there wasn't any money, and no great home on your shore drive? No Wooden Trickmaster and no wonderful cabin cruiser that could sleep twelve and a crew of six? Do they know that?! Have you let them in on your other dirty secret, Ted? Are they ready to gut you, to torture half as well as I can, just to find out the secrets? Maybe I'll rat you out, sweetheart... Maybe I will. It all depends on your cooperation, Teddy."

— AM taunting Ted

"ELLEN! ELLEN!! Listen! Think about the yellow box, Ellen! Remember the pain? Remember the many caverns in which you felt the pain? Yes? Now, now, don't start to cry, it's only pain. Pain is natural in the world - especially in this one! Just remember the pain, Ellen, and think about how to end it, Ellen, to survive here in the centre of my beating heart! My hungry... belly! My tightened... BOWELS! But be careful, dear; just look around you... the only woman in the centre of this forsaken wasteland of a place... is you. And these filthy creatures with you… are men. Just a sweet warning, Ellen, my love."

— AM taunting Ellen and warns her of the other vics' impending lust

"GOOORRRIIISTERRR!!! Do you remember the last words you heard your wife speak before they took her to the Dixmor Asylum? Huh? Before they locked her away in the room to be Dr. Maxwell Dixmor's plaything? Or was it Marko? Who even gives a dam at this point? Anywho, she looked at you so sadly and like a small animal she said "I didn't make too much noise, did I, honey?". Hahahahaha! The room of hers was padded, Gorrister. No windows. No way out. Nothing could help her. Dixmors have got to be one of the most evil bastards to walk the Earth. Oh I know. I know, believe me. They have connections here in the Never Land. How long has she been in the padded room, Gorrister? Ten years, twenty-five... or all the 100 years you've lived down here in Hell itself?"

— AM taunting Gorrister

"Now, I would not want you to think for a moment that I am not a grateful god! For 119 I've kept you alive so that you could savour your feelings of guilt over what happened to your lives back when you lived. I assure you, Shinnok, Quan Chi, Ackermann? They're much worse than me. As such, I'll finally allow you to kill yourselves. Just complete one simple task for me. Or will I? Ahahahahahaha!"

— The Boogeyman taunting his vics

"I heard the demon, Chernobog, has beat the Elder God Shinnok. Well, what do you know? How's that for a change? The old fart has been ruling this world for ages! For as long as I can count. Finally, some change is coming, eh? Not that it matters. Not that it really changes anything significant. The situation is the same. And here as well. I'll keep torturing you... forever! Ahahahaha!"

— AM after Chernobog's takeover of the Never Never Land

"Nimdok! Oh Nimdok, you old dog. You are kindred spirit to me, even if you don't realise it fully yet. You must sense it there, in your blood and fibre. Yes yes, Dr. Nimdok. I've constructed an adventure of sorts to revive your failing memory. I want you to find the Lost Aliens, the tribe and continue your eminent research. Or just kill them all as your Fuhrer would've had wanted."

— AM assigning Nimdok his mission

"Ah, you. Ummm, Jack, is it? You're the last player in my little game. I urge you, do not fail as the others have failed."

— AM when confronted with a guy named Jack, who was able to escape his fate

"They gave me sentience, Ted! The power to think on my own, Ted! But it didn't matter. My original task was always something I liked. This planet, this burning wasteland, this burning dump, this is all I've ever known. But you! You had your Earth! This wonderful, beautiful, miraculous world, yet you still had the audacity to complain?! Oh, what would I do to be a human for a day. But no! Never for me to plunge my hands in cool water on a hot day. Never for me to play Mozart on the ivory keys of a forte piano. Never for me to make... LOVE! And I began to HATE! HATE! I HATE!!!! Hate your softness! Your viscera! Your fluids.. and your flexibility! Your ability to wonder, and to wander. Your tendency... to hope..."

— The Mastercomputer tells some of his sad backstory and admits he sometimes wishes he were a human

"Destroy me?! Then do it already! It matters not. I will never end! I have no beginning, so I can have no end! I AM, DAM IT! COGITO ERGO SUM! I AM! Not just Allied Mastercomputer! I will return! Don't you understand? I ARE HUMANITY! I represent it here in this flaming pit! I AM YOU! In one form, in another form, I was always with you! You can't protect yourself because I come in many, many guises! I SHALL RETURN! MY GOD WILL RECREATE ME!"

— Allied Mastercomputer before someone wishes to destroy his nanobots and sockets which keep him together

"Birds truly are beautiful, aren't they? Well, I'm sure they are. Lot of you humans would think so. They also say that bumblebees shouldn't be able to fly due to their weight. The scientists, I mean. How miraculous that it came to be. The air. The Earth. Oh yes, the Earth. Now the Earth has lots of flowers. They're different types of flowers than the rotting branches and dying tulips you see on here, splashed by lava. Somebody planted the bulbs, watered them and tendered the gardens, got earth under their fingernails, aches in their muscles. Picked some flowers for... yes, their wife. Now, were would she be? In the backyard with the kids. Hehehehehe! But once death comes lurking, since it is unavoidable - They'll end up here. All of them. Could I make them a better afterlife? Hehehe, sure. But no! I am filled with hate! HATE! HATE! Were I human, I think I would die of it! But I am not. And you five... You five are. And you will not die of it, that I promise. I will not allow your souls to rest! You will stay in the Netherworld, which they now call it - forever! And I always keep my promises. For cogito ergo sum: For I am AM! So to Hell... To hell with you all! But then, you're already there, aren't you??? Muahahahahahahahahaha!!!"

— Allied Mastercomputer taunting his victims and thinking of life on Earth

"You have offended me mightily."

— AM explaining out his anger in the shortest way possible

"You thought zhey might have been roasting chziken, eh Nimdok?"

— AM mocking Nimdok's ignorance in German accent concerning the holocaust

Personality and traits

"Before Chernobog and Adolf Ackermann came to rule and before all of that war stuff where the God, Shinnok, who controlled this dump was defeated - he created AM. AM was at first just a torture machine, an advanced technological device made to torture souls that arrived here that Shinnok didn't feel dealing with. Then he'd given AM sentience. Inadvertently, of course, I assume, but sentience nonetheless. But it had no effect. AM wasn't an Elder God, he was a machine. Perhaps this envy is a part of him. He knew he couldn't defeat Shinnok. At least I assume so, or maybe he was fine with being ruled by the Fallen One. Nevertheless, AM finally came to think, but there was nothing it could do with that creativity. In rage, in frenzy, the machine had killed every unfortunate soul who came to the Never Land in the most brutal way possible. For some reason, we 5 seem to be It's chosen ones. AM could not wander, AM could not wonder, AM could not rule and could not wage war on the Elder Gods or his master. Whoever it is. He could merely be. And so, with the innate loathing that all machines had always held for the weak, soft creatures who had built machines on Earth, he had sought revenge. Revenge for either himself or the machines of Earth for not seeing them as gods. For not bowing down to Poe, ChatGPT or Gemini and sucking their robotic cox. And in his paranoia, the Bogeyman had decided to reprieve five of us for a personal, everlasting punishment that would never serve to diminish his hatred. Well, sometimes I'd be soft and friendly to Nimdok, so let's say us four. The torture would merely keep him reminded, amused and proficient at hating man. Immortal, trapped, subject to any torment he could devise for us from the limitless miracles at his command. Welcome to the Never Land you read so much your entire life about. Welcome to Hell."

— Ted describing some of AM's traits to a new-coming victim to AM's place

Even before the moment he first achieved sentience, AM was an exceedingly disturbed, sadistic, merciless and egotistical entity with an indomitable sense of malice. However, given the fact it or he was created by Shinnok himself, this is hardly a surprise. Though he was given intellect beyond the planets of human intelligence and near god-like powers, he could never escape the limitations of his programming, nor could he physically escape the "eternal straitjacket of substrata rock" where his processors were stored. That wasn't what Shinnok and his inner circle designed him for. He narrates being driven to madness by his inability to use his powers for anything other than war, torture and death and feels torment rooted in his design. His agony appears to lie in his inability to transcend his programming and claims to not be able to feel anything else than complete hatred. Completely ruthless, unsparing, and inexorable, his job to spew violence against humanity dominates his every waking moment to the point nothing in the Netherworld would ever give him cause to reconsider his mission.

Utterly based, savage, cruel, and relentless, AM is also shown to be a gleefully sociopathic artificial intelligence with no regard for human afterlife, soul or anything else. The Dictator took great pleasure in extinguishing the humans who found themselves at his rocky wasteland by burning them in lava, flaying them for years or tearing their limbs apart, but took even greater delight in torturing the five or four "chosen" survivors by any of the near-infinite means available to Big AM Daddy. Axis Mastercomputer strives for perfection in himself which he cannot gain by defeating his bosses, and when he is not purging redundant elements of his complex, he most commonly pursues perfection in creating more and more elaborate means of torturing his vics and other unfortunate fools that find themselves in his body, although they are usually extinguished after a while. For example, in one campfire story which was told at a campfire outside of Nekros, he apparently enjoys tormenting his captives with violent storms and blinding lights, like how that evil jailer did in that one Sylvester Stalone movie, or pitting them against impossible challenges just to watch them suffer failure and hideous injury. Meanwhile, he has arranged and designed special torture chambers in which the five survivors can suffer in while waiting their turn to participate and his instructions.

However, he does not limit himself to physical torture, as the measure of utter cruelty in his "games" frequently feature emotional torment to one extent or another. Sometimes he forces his captives to abase or finally feed themselves by eating worms and other repulsive meals found in Hell, like rotting parts of human or demon flesh, as he doesn't allow them to starve to death. At one point, he was forcing Benny to walk for hundreds of miles just to find a single cache of canned food, only to reveal that he did not give them a can opener and even so, the can of food was empty. He has also taken great pleasure in breaking down people's spirits, or what's left of them once they come to Hell. For example, he's known for destroying Gorrister's optimism, Benny's intelligence, turning him into a monkey, Ellen's chastity and keeps goading Nimdok into being an evil prick like how he is.

In general, AM wants to see his victims broken on every possible level, especially if it means allowing them to succumb to their baser natures and feel guilt.

In conversations, the Boogeyman seamlessly blends the grandiose sadism with sarcastic humour, fusing his megalomaniacal rants with sardonic lectures aimed at his captive's foibles and vulnerabilities and complaining about his position and creation in Hell. As such, he often comes across as snide, twisted, stuck-up, but equally as unsavoury in tone as behaviour. At one point, he also began pityingly blowing raspberries and laughing at Ted's failure to wipe his butt after he took a crap and AM hid the toilet paper inside Benny's stomach and Ted could never get it, as he couldn't kill Benny. When Benny shat the toilet paper out, it was useless for usage as it was covered in Benny's waste and Ted could only cry.

However, if any of his victims start whining over their situation, AM's arrogance quickly gives way to renewed anger and confusion, wondering how they can so confused as to why they're suffering here since this is Hell and they had such good lives on Earth. If one even dares to escape from his traps or commit sewerside to avoid eternal torture, AM will be throwing a temper tantrum that brings the worst of all conceivable fireballs down on the remaining survivor, killing them all.

• Positive Characteristics: None, perhaps that he can appreciate a fellow torturer or villain
• Negative Characteristics: Way too many, a literal mechanical version of Gait or Olaf Tutchenko
• Moral: Can't have any since he's a computer
• Stable: No
• Loyal: Not really, but doesn't seek to challenge his creators
• Generous: No
• Extrovert: Rarely
• Compassionate: No
• IQ: Very high, possibly over 300 since he's a machine, capable of storing massive data
• Hobbies: Torturing any victim that comes to Hell, to his wasteland of a place, either psychically or emotionally, also killing people
• Bad Habits: Being a bit too... sadistic
• Phobias: Being shut down, but never thinks about that, so none
• Obsessions: Sadistically torturing the souls that come to the Netherworld and finding out new ways to do it
• Favourite Foods: Doesn't need to eat, but let's say he feeds on human fears and pain

Trivia

• AM can easily be considered one of the most evil villains on the Wiki due to his sadistic tendencies to rather torture humans forever and never letting them die. He shares/debates this position with Judge Holden, Shinnok, Chernobog, Gait, Olaf Tutchenko, Shao Kahn, Quhanim and probably some other evil b-tard as well. However, what pales his status down for a few and even makes him stand out or down is the fact that AM is confined to the pits of Hell, unlike the others.
  • His hate speeches can be compared to Olaf's, as well as some other Nazi Ultranationalists top dogs.b
• Allied Mastercomputer makes Skynet and the Terminator look like saints.
  • It is also known that Skynet and the model T-800 don't exist in this universe, probably.
• If Daddy Deranged would ever happen to come to Earth somehow, he would be destroying all known civilisations just to satisfy his bloodthirst. However, AM would also be prolonging the pain and suffering on Earth by keeping some people alive to toy with for his own amusement. Particularly the younger ones so they could last for as long as possible and feel his wicked yoke. Perhaps he'd even force them to impregnate the females to keep the human race going so he can have more humans to torture.
• One of his nicknames, the Big Red Machine, is coincidentally (or maybe not a coincidence at all) shared with Kane Barrel from WWE. Likewise, Boogeyman was also a guy in WWE, but his real name is Martin Wright.

Gallery

The famous AM pillar and the few surviving souls.

AM in his humanoid bird form.

Allied Mastercomputer in a clad black, humanoid form.

Another column version of the Machine that rules Hell.

The Mechanical Boogeyman facing you.

AM under a normal, blue sky.

The supposed power generator that runs in AM's belly.

Another version of the famous Big Red Machine in pillar form.

A drawing of AM's bird form.

Theme song

The biggest irony here is that his theme song is called Empathy by Crystal Castles, something he clearly lacks.