Voldo

"B0ss! B0ss, b0ss gimmie the pussi!"

- Voldo begging his master to give him a gf

Walter Waldo Voldo is a minor character in the Soul Calibur series of fighting games. Voldo made his first appearance in the very first game and has returned for all the following games thanks to his popularity due to his unique breed of Durian. He is actually Pink Guy from the late Filthy Frank show.

Biography
Voldo's biography as said by numerous journalists reveals that he used to be the right-hand-man of the living Italian merchant known only as "B0ss", whose real name was rumoured to be Vercci. Vercci desired the cursed but power-giving sword known as Soul Edge to either form parts of his collection of rare weapons or use it for his own ends, and Voldo stood as the captain of the expeditions in his search, even contracting the services of the feared pirate Captain known as Cervantes Delakatesa, and later accompanied his "b0ss" when he decided to take the search personally when Cervantes failed. When word came that B0ss's possessions were the first targets for a group of thieves led Yoshimitsu, the Boss grew angry. He moved his fleet, with all of the possessions on it, on an uninhabited island off the coast of Goslimk in the Watery Sea and dug a 30-metres deep shaft that would serve as his tomb and vault. Voldo would be instructed to slay any thieves or travellers that even step near it so the "Secret Money Pit" would never be revealed to the world, those were his last orders before he shut himself into the Pit with his master, now deceased. Voldo would remain many years underground, turning himself into the guardian of the tomb and slay all who ventured near it steal, making rumours of the island, its treasures, gold and its "guardian" spread all around Duro. Years later, Voldo would hear his master's statue speaking to him, commanding him to search for the Soul Edge once again, making him leave the Pit to do so.

Unfortunately for Voldo, his search for Soul Edge ended in failure, and he returned to the Money Pit to find it flooded by a storm. After saving what he could, Voldo remained inside for years only to reemerge from the Pit to follow a woman with the essence of Soul Edge, Ivy Valentine, who tried to find leads on the sword for herself at the Pit.

In Soul Calibur II Voldo returned to the Money Pit after taking one of Ivy's swords, mistaking it for Soul Edge due to its evil aura, only to find years later an intruder with Soul Edge fragments. Voldo realised Ivy's swordy sword was not Soul Edge and set out on a new search, collecting fragments of it while seeking for it.

His appearance in the third game states he, during one of his periodic visits to the Pit, found the tomb ransacked and the sword he mistook for Soul Edge stolen alongside the fragments he collected in his travels. Since the thieves were apparently interested in Soul Edge, he decided to track them down and force them to reveal any information of the sword they know. He also came to realisation he was going to die someday and the Pit will stay unprotected, so he also started searching for a worthy successor, which turned out to be Lizardman, though Lizardman will have to wait some hundreds of years more until Voldo dies to take his place.

Years later in the fourth game, Voldo does find the Soul Edge, it turns out to be in the possession of Nightmare, the planet's newest ruler at the Ostreinsburg Castle. As he feared it would be too risky to get inside the castle to get the sword, Voldo left the place, telling his master in his head that it's not worth it. However, the voice of Voldo's master spoke back to him, calling him a "coward" and a "loser" for not wanting to get the sword. Whether this was a spirit, or simply Voldo's imagination remains a mystery. It seems Voldo paid little to no attention to his B0ss, fearing for his life, which actually showed to be the smart thing to do.

In Soul Calibur V, Voldo is once again seen protecting the Secret Money Pit but the Pit gets ransacked by The Birds of Passage one time and Voldo gets knocked out cold. Voldo then spends the next several months searching for the Birds and the treasure that has been stolen but is unlucky as he doesn't find anything.

In 2018, Voldo was hired by Rafael Sorel to kill Cassandra Alexander when she attempted to kill him and his adopted daughter. Voldo ambushes Cassandra in an abandoned forest and kills her.

Quotes
"Wow! Holy crap, this guy sounds like he is choking on dik! He sounds constipated as crap! He might as well shove his own benis into his mouth and say "bbrrrghhhhhhh"! Also, calling me "funny man" is a very bad idea because the last time someone did that I left them knocked out unconscious in a dumpster I took a dump in!"

- Voldo describes a pirate of Cervantes

"Ey, B0ss, frick you, man."

- Voldo after B0ss calls him a coward surplus loser

"Ey, B0ss, I eat-ah doag meat."

- Voldo on his eating habits

"Wow! You freaking people insult the B0ss!? You'll have to go through me first! And you only have 10 million money, noobs! And this quote was said on Nov. 21, huh??! Well, guess what - in just one week B0ss already had over a billion! I wish I could see your face so I could punch you, kill you, burn you, torture you forever! Kill everyone you know! Die, die, DIE ALREADY you piece of crap! You'll die early, you dildo! Wait for karma to fuak you up!"

- Voldo when someone insults "B0ss"

"You're a butthole and a freaking idiot. I will kick you and your crew's assets if I ever see you or them."

- Voldo before knocked out by a Bird of Passage

"I am a walking, talking, abortion!"

- Voldo describes himself

"CAN I HABE DE PUSSI, PLEASE???!"

- Voldo begs his master for some women

Powers and abilities
Voldo is quite difficult to fight, thanks to his strange and unique style of fighting. His moveset is based on contorting his body in unnatural ways, making him an extremely unpredictable fighter thanks to his flexible specie. He also has many stances that compliment his odd and scary style, like his Mantis crawl in which he stands on his four limbs face-first. Also unique to Voldo is his ability to fight with his back towards his opponent when he wears his moon mask on the back of his head. He uses a different set of attacks when standing like this, though he returns to the normal, face-forward mode to execute grabs. Due to the nature of his weapons, Voldo has one of the shortest range in the game, which is considered a flaw. Also, due to his poor eyesight, Voldo will sometimes miss the opponent if they are quicker than him.

Trivia

 * Voldo was once exploited like a fool that he is by Nightmare and then Tira.
 * Voldo actually shares the same quotes and voice as Pink Guy character from Filthy Frank and Frank when he is reading his hate comments.
 * Voldo gets offended when someone calls him a "funny man" but it's a-okay when he describes himself as a "walking, talking abortion".
 * Voldo wears a sun mask but can also wear a moon mask on the back of his head.
 * Voldo's destined battles are Yoshimitsu and Ivy Valentine.
 * Voldo claims he was a Nazi in the past life when he was born on Earth.
 * Voldo once fought with Liu Kang but lost to him despite using his Cat claws for maximum damage. He apparently fought him before the events of the second Soul Calibur.
 * While it is made clear how "B0ss" can talk to Voldo when at the Secret Money Pit (through his statue) it was never made clear how he can talk to him in his head when outside of the Pit.
 * Because of his strange and unique appearance plus quotes lots of other humans who come to Duro fear him.
 * Voldo is middle-named Waldo after the character of the same name from the book Where's Waldo?.
 * Voldo likes jesters as seen from his costumes and according to B0ss.
 * He sometimes looks like Kratos.

Theme song
Voldo's theme is actually a Pink Guy's song where he demands the female sex organ from his "B0ss", like Voldo and since Voldo is technically Pink Guy and the "B0ss" is the B0ss, it's his theme.