Daegon VS Count Vampy - Rap Battle 31

Daegon VS Count Vampy is the thirty-oneth instalment of EERB and the third episode of season 3. It features fearless Edenian ruler, Daegon, rapping against the wrestling vampire, Count Vampy. It was released on October 25th, 2019.

Daegon (1st Verse
Imagine creepy forests of corpses, dripping on a bleedin' buffet.

You call that a nightmare? I call that Tuesday.

I am Daegon, student of Lord Shinnok! Son of Argus!

Dipping and dripping my bread in your weeping blood vessels!

Scorched and came to the Earth from Edenia!

I inspire fear, Slovenia, you inspire Count Chocula!

Stepped to the Chinese and the bodies started dropping!

Put my foot on Black Dragons like I was furniture shopping!

I save my stakes, no need crucifixes, yeeeww!:

I kill you with Olive Garden garlic breadsticks!

I butcher men, women, and children like cows!

Put more meat on swords than Fogo de Chão!

Count Vampy (1st Verse)
Blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah!!!

Check; one... Juan. Two... ah, ah, ah!!!!

The flex of a rear-spearing princeling can't vex me.

'Cause I nibble on necks and I make it look sexy!

I'm universally known for intrigue and desire!

I shapeshift into mist and eat up Zack Ryder!

Wacky hair, popped collar, and a damn nice cape.

While you've got less taste than an Anne Rice cake!

Your rhymes are empty, like I leave vascular system.

I'd grant you the privilege of being Vampy's victim!

But the thought of biting you makes me get nauseous.

You don't look like the type that's keen on neck washes.

Daegon (2nd Verse)
Did you shapeshift those punchlines? 'Cause they mist!

Your skill's like your reflection: it doesn't exist!

I'll turn your taint to a 'tis, when I put mah sword through ya!

Haven't seen a sucker this soft, since Steven, muh brother!

Get beat by Count Vampy? You're smoking lampy!

I dunk on your whack-ula raps like I'm Shad-qula! Ohhhhh!

I'm Daegon to the bone, Daegon the head-nailer!

Daegon commits heinous acts on rats, ask my prisoners!

You leeched my name, you pale son of a biatch!

And your weak as gets beat by the sun at the beach!

Your black hair and cape are all flappy razzle-dazzle.

'Cuz at end of day, you're a bat and that's only half a battle!

Vampy (2nd Verse)
Wow... I did not know that you could read.

That's great. Now, let's see if you can bleed! *Hisses*

Ha! You thought the sun could kill me? That I turn into a bat? Not true!

I'm a human, the vampire so cold they call me Nosfer-achoo!

My syllable delivery is devilishly intricate.

I rock the ring, once I'm invited into it!

And here's a titbit that you can stick a stake or sword up:

You're losing so bad you should join Team Jacob!

Stanko!

(Stanko: Yes, master?)

Vampy: Call a doctor, not Seward, ugh!

'Cause Daegon has just been skewered!

Poll
Who won?? Daegon Count Vampy