Quan Chi VS Joe Valirover - Rap Battle 28

Quan Chi VS Joe Valirover is the twenty-eight instalment of EERB and the eighteenth and final episode of ERB Season 2. It features the arch-sorcerer of Hell, Quan Chi, iron-fisted Russian dictator, Joe Valirover, the ruler of Hell and a former god, Lord Shinnok, mob boss of the Corleone Family, Vito Corleone, and the thunder god, Raiden, in a leader battle royale. It was released on April 22nd, 2013.

Quan:
Cool moustache, Wario.

Try messing with the mad monk, you'll be sorry, yo!

How many dictators does it take?

To turn an empire into a union of ruinous states?

It's a disgrace what you did to your own people!

Your daddy beat you like a dog and now you're evil!

You're from Raša (meaning Russia, but he uses a weird accent), sweet Raša,

And the history books unfold ya;

As a messed up madafaka bent in the mind,

Who built a superpower, but he paid the price!

With the endless destruction of Russian lives!

If you're the man of steel, I spit kryptonite!

Big dik mystic, known to hypnotise!

I could end you with a whisper to your wife.

Valirover
Look into my eyes, you perverted witch.

See the soul of the man who made Mother Russia his bisch!

You think I give a fawk about my wife?

My own son got locked up in prison, and I didn't save his life!

You got off easy when they pickled that moose cok!

I'll leave your neck in a noose in a trench and shot!

Your whole family; shot! All your wizard friends; shot!

Anyone who sold you pirogi; shot!

Starve you for days 'til you waste away!

Crush modapakas when I'm laid in state!

Pride of Shinnok took Gregorc out of picture.

Drop the hammer on you harder than I did slap Olaf!

Shinnok:
I have no pride for you, who ruined everything

My revolution was doing to stop the Earthrealmers!

I fought the bondage of classes! The proletariat masses.

Have brought me here to spit a thesis against both of your ss!

Let me start with you there, Frankenstein!

Looking like something out of Liechtenstein!

It's hip-hop chowder, red over white,

'Cause Tsar's wife can't do sith tonight!

And Quan, you were supposed to be my right-hand man,

But your loyalty shrivelled up like your right hand, man!

Our whole future was bright! You let your heart grow dark,

And stopped the greatest revolution since the birth of Corleone!

Corleone:
Knock, knock, knock, knock.

Did somebody say zee birth of the Corleone?

Yo, I'm the host with the most glasnost!

Buttholes made a mess and the war got cold!

Shook hands with both Ronalds: Reagan and McDonald's, no doubt!

If your name ends with "in", time to get out!

I had the balls to let Baryshnikov dance, playa!

Torn down that wall like the Kool-Aid Man, oh yeah!

You two need yoga. (Дa!) You need a shower, (Дa!)

And you all need to learn how to handle real power!

Raiden:
Did somebody say real power?

Дa, you want to mess with me?

I spit hot borscht when I'm crushing these beasts.

Blow it up like a tuba, while I'm balling in Cuba.

Doing judo moves and schooling every communist сука!

I'm a president in my world, my enemies don't distract me.

Last man who attacked me lived a half-life, so comrade, come at me!

You don't know what you're doing when you try to bust a rhyme against a mind like Raiden.

You'll find that the ex-EG is the best MC in the ex-CCCP!

Poll
Who won!??? Quan Chi Joe Valirover Shinnok Vito Corleone Raiden