Barack Obama

"A nation that can't control its energy sources can't control the future."

- Obama

Barack Obama (full name Barack Hussein "Osama" Obama II, also known as Osama bin Laden (not his real name)) is the reason you need to get the fuak over to Canada. He was hand picked in 2008 to be next dictator to drive America further downward.

Obama is a very unique politician as he is both a greedy socialist and a puppet, but he has no problem with the real people who run the country behind his back because he is given far more money than he deserves. Obama's jobs are lying, reading papers given to him by the puppet-masters, pretending to be a sane, decent person, and going on 6 vacation a month. The only promises he keeps are the ones that make sith worse. He also has the biggest dik around.

Biography
Obama was the son of a white hippie named Ann Dunham, and a Hawaiin economist named Barack Saddam Hussein Obama Sr. His parents met during their college days in Hawaii and decided to smoke a joint after having sex. Two years after his father left the family home to establish new subsidiary in Kenya and getting a political office as Minister of Econotuya. The jilted mother sought another husband and married an Indonesian named Lolo; the life of Anna Dunham was successfully brought to the field of music by Tupac Shakur in his song Brenda's got a baby. He studied at prestigious universities under the aegis of George Soros, who had in mind the conquest of global financial markets with a mole president in the White House. His power was almost destroyed when Francesco Barzini tried to seize control in 2012.

Cold War
Later, during the Cold War, was abducted by a secret command of the KGB and taken to Moscow. There, Alexander Faust became a cyborg communist genetically modified using a mixture of DNA from more powerful anti-American and charismatic of the time (Fidel Castro, Onaga, Fat Boner and others) leaders. He completed his socialist instruction in various training camps in Outworld, under the direct supervision of their biological ancestor Shao Kahn.

Dreams
After the fall of the Berlin Wall, Obama returned to the United States and become a staunch defender of Outworld Communism. Despite her ambitions, she knew just move cautiously and found information about his life from 1990 until September 11, 2011, when some trusted men claimed to seen him in various airports in the country at the same time. Now he has returned to public life, nobody can stop his dream of creating the URSA (Union of American Socialist Republics) and introduce Shao law throughout the America.

Verse 1
They say your father was a great man, you must be what's left.

Need to stop hatin' on gays, let 'em teach ya how to dress!

You've got the momma James and a Mr. Biatch place!

So rich and white, it's like I'm runnin' against a cheesecake!

Republicans need a puppet and you fit.

Got their hands so far up your rear, call you Mitt!

I'm the head of state, you're like a head of cabbage.

'Bout to get smacked by Obama's stimulus package (dik), hahaha!

You're a bad man with no chance, you can't even touch me!

I got four more years (two terms) and the White House, just trust me!

I hoped you saved her best runs for the second half.

Cause right now, I'm 47% through kicking yo s!

Verse 2
Eh, look, I respect all religions, uh, but it might get crazy.

If the White House has a first, second, and a third lady!

Verse 3
Uh, let me be clear, uh, don't get it twisted.

We'll see plenty of places after my first discussion!

Verse 4
Oh yeah? Well you're stupid!

Verse 5
Nuh-uh!

Verse 6
EEEERRRR!

Own told Bio
My fellow Americans, let me start off by thanking the EERB for on hosting this, ahh, most certainly epic rap battle. Hi, I'm Barack (don't call me Barry, I don't go by that anymore). I'm President of the United States of America – the first African-American to ever hold that position – and a member of the Democratic party. I was, ahhh, born in Hawaii (America, last time I checked) and have a birth certificate to prove it. My parents divorced soon after, but hey, that didn't stop me from attending Harvard Law School, serving as an Illinois State Senator, and developing my ah, stuttery, "thoughtful", oratory style before running for president. I rode into office in the 2008 election on a promise of change and hope for a socialist better country. During my term, I set into motion efforts to pull troops out of Outworld (mission accomplished August 2010), imprison Shao Kahn (slam dunk, nailed it), close our special military prison Guantanamo Bay (we're, ah, still working on it), and fix the economy (stimulus takes, ahh, some time). I openly support gay marriage, heck, I just want everyone to be as happy as I am with my beautiful, powerful, dignified, giant of a wife, Michelle.