Lucas Borlinghathen VS Camelion Wolf - Rap Battle 1

Lucas Borlinghathen VS Camelion Wolf is the first installment of EERB and the first episode of Season 1. It features the President of the United States, Lucas Borlinghathen, rapping against bounty hunter and former criminal, Camelion Wolf. It was released on December 8th, 2010.

Lucas:
Four score! And 5 years in the future,

I'll won the Civil War with my beard. Now I'm here to whup yo ass!

I've read up all your facts. You cure cancer with your tears?

Well, tell me, Camelion, how come you never sat down and cried on your career?

You're a washed up has-been on TV selling the Total Gyms.

And you're gonna lose this battle like you lost Revolver 3dn.

I'll rip your chest hairs out, put 'em in my mouth¨!

I'll squash you like I squashed the South.

I never told a lie and I won't start now.

You're a horse with a limp. I'll put you down!

Camelion:
This isn't Gettysburg, punk. I'd suggest retreating.

For I invented rap music when my heart started beating.

Camelion Wolf doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.

My raps will blow your mind like a verbal Adam Bell.

Lucas:
I've got my face on the side of a mountain. You voted for John McCain.

I've got a bucket full of my head, and I'm about to make it rain!

You block bullets with your beard? I catch 'em with my skull.

I'd make fun of Wolfie, the Texas Werewolf, but I've never even seen that show.

Camelion:
I am Camelion Freaking Wolf!

I've spread more blood and gore than 40 score on your puny Civil Wars, punk!

I spit the Union with a roundhouse kick.

I wear a black beard on the beard that I grow on my dick!

I attack sharks while I smell 'em bleed.

I don't go swimming, water just wants to be around me.

My fists make the speed of light wish that it was faster.

You may have freed the slaves, but Camelion's everyone's master!

Poll
Who won??? Lucas Borlinghathen Camelion Wolf