Edna Abners

"OOOHHH YEAH!!! I need you to go to the Yum Yum Market and get some memes for me! Hahahah, or else I will have to take a sith in the pot again."

- Abners to Hopkins

Edna Abners is the cook at Dixmor Academy and a minor hero in Bully.

Role in game
Edna appears in the story a few times. She has Jimmy Hopkins help her in a few missions involving her. In "Last Minute Shopping", she asks him to pick up a few of her personal effects to use for her cooking from stores in Bullworth. She also asks him to buy some memes for her from the Yum Yum Market.

In "Cook's Crush", she asks Jimbo to pick up a few more things for her, including sedatives and chloroform so she can set up a date with the old chemistry teacher, Reginald Watts. In "Cook's D8", she asks Jimmy to watch over her date with Dr. Watts in case Bullies, Smith's Worshippers or the Jocks plan to ruin it.

Personality and traits
Edna is perpetually filthy, ugly, overweight and is hygienically challenged. She will cough, sneeze, spit, blow cigarettes, pee or poop into food she prepares, believing it adds flavour to it or "her", as she puts it. Edna is also prone to laughing maniacally like some sort of Mr. Black or The Joker. When Jimmy Hopkins does her a favour, she agrees to not spit into his food as a reward. In "Last Minute Shopping", Edna says she wore the same knickers and haven't washed her apron nor hair since "a hundred years".

Despite being only the cook of the school, Edna is also considered school authority/faculty, and will try to bust students who break the rules, sometimes even with a Mixing Spoon. Unlike other female authority in the school, Edna will uses the same grab and ground technique the male authorities use to bust students. Her favourite pejorative word towards the kids is "skinnies".

Edna isn't popular among the kids at the school as expected. Most of them find her gross, kids of all the gangs happily and humiliatingly tried to ruin a date she had, and Troy Miller even made fun of her personally at Halloween by wearing a mask of her face. Only Hal Esposito, who finds fat (like he is) women attractive, has a crush on her. According to Shelton Thompson, she has 3 of her children studying at Ivy League.

Trivia

 * If the player causes any trouble in the cafeteria, Edna will chase after him, but will never go out of the cafeteria for some reason. Perhaps she is certain that the other faculty members out there will take care of you.
 * If Jimmy Hopkins smashes every fake tombstone at the funfair, he will receive an Edna mask from Troy Miller as a reward.