Morshu

"Lamp oil, rope, bombs! You want it? It's yours, my friend, as long as you have enough rubies. Sorry Ling, I can't give credit. Come back when you're a little... Mmmmmm... richer!"

- Morshu to Ling

Morshu is a Orinionian shopkeeper. He currently has one employee. Even though he's not a member of Kotal's Army, he aides them and lets them use his shop as a hideout. He has a thyroid condition that gives him his obesity.

History
Morshu was born on a date no one gives a shit about. After the doctor spanked him, Morshu lit the doctor on fire. Morshu then kissed his new mother and hijacked an ambulance.

Morshu was raised by Fat Man, since he owed Morshu because Morshu killed the former ruler of Fatlandia and let Fat Ass become king. That's where Morshu learned to be a fatass.

Business
His shop, nicknamed "Morshu's Shop of Faggotry", is named "Morshu's Communist Shop". Products sold at the shop include lamp oil, rope, bombs, hot tubs, blank maps, exploding alarm clocks, hammers, sickles and vodka. Most of his customers are crazy commie drunks who pay him in dimes for more booze. He never gives credit and demands all payment upfront. In case things go wrong, he keeps a shotgun under his counter.

Morshu is not satisfied with just owning a small business, he has a very close association with Zin Empire, with one of their secret bases being underneath his shop. His bombs are sold on the black market to Zin and other criminal organisations. Morshu dodges the law like a bullet and is able to keep away any investigations with lies and threats.

Morshu's Only Unsatisfied Customer
Despite his bullying nature, Morshu is a very likeable guy and almost everybody likes him... "almost" everybody. Raiden is the only person ever to have been unsatisfied and not like Morshu. The incident began when Raven came to Morshu's Communist Shop to purchase a new war hammer, but to both of their annoyance, Raiden did not have enough rupees. Once Morshu told Raiden where a rupee mine ATM can be found, he presented Morshu with a green rupee, which wasn't nearly enough for the war hammer. Frustrated, Morshu sent Raiden away, telling him to come back when he was a little... MMMM... richer! An unsatisfied Raiden left the shop, hijacked a bus, and ran over Morshu. However, Raven did not realise that Morshu is invincible and can't die.

Justin Bieber
Morshu later hired a young Canadian who he thought was a girl at first, in fact he only hired him because he thought Justin was a girl (he is pretty perverted). After learning that he had to pay Bieber more money, he got so angry that he nuked half of Canada.

Arrest and Release
He later got arrested for treason and sexual assault, in which he did something to the jury that was completely gruesome.

He was later released because the law couldn't take his bitching anymore. Albeit the only reason he was released was because someone demolished the whole jail.

Sexual Coercion
When Luigi went into Morshu's shop to buy some succulent spaghetti, Morshu refused service to his unlucky customer. However, he expressed his willingness to comply under one condition; he has to have a gay sex with Morshu. With Luigi having no other choice he accepted.

Trivia

 * His strongest bomb is called "The Morshu Nuke", which is half as strong as the Chernobyl reactor 4, which Ukraine possess.
 * It is rumoured that Morshu had a hidden sex tape with Sindel back in 1984.
 * Morshu later became a singer. He gave it up after his first album, because he was too tired.
 * Morshu got a job directing a movie about himself called "A Morshu Movie". It is going to be the  biggest budgeted movie in Orinion history, because Morshu is... well... Morshu.