The Joker VS Clown IT - Rap Battle 32

The Joker VS Clown IT is the thirty-second instalment of EERB and the fourth episode of season 3. It features former mobster, now mental patient of Arkham Phillip Cuneo Jr. aka The Joker, rapping against the titular villain of Connecticut's Derry sewers, Clown IT. It was released on November 23rd, 2019.

The Joker (1st Verse)
When I first appeared and was lastly seen, the Bat was supposed to slay me!

But I can't be killed. That's why they send me to Arkham to play me! He-he!

I'm the Harlequin of Hate, the Clown Prince of Crime!

You're a sewer troll that Kazuya Mishima made between his lines!

Ha-ha-ha-ha! It's like cocaine. You know what I said. GET MUH JOKE!

I don't know how any kind of joke could ever go over that head!

"They all float!" says the quote, but your abilities? They all sink!

Oh, and as far as Mr. Shinnok goes, I'm the shining man. Wink! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

I could make the Justice League look just like a bunch of super schlubs!

You lost to a herd of nerds who call themselves 'the Losers' Club!

You'll be gobbled up in Gotham, so stick to your Derry; small town.

Where you're renowned as the "if it's brown, flush it down" clown!

Clown IT (1st Verse)
Hiya, Jokie! Wanna rap?

Ha-ha-ha-ha! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Oh, why so serious? You're supposed to be the man who laughs!

But those jokes were like your new movie: Aha! Mostly sad.

Beep beep! You're John Doe in my deadlights, and you're about to fall from a new height!

'Cause you're weak and you've lost every fight to a guy who wears underwears over his tights! Ha-ha-ha!

I'll haunt your nightmares and I'm ruthless!

This battle's like poker: the Joker is useless!!

Winning's not in your cards! Call me Arkham Asylum, I'm crazy with bars!

As Phillip Cuneo you were just fine, but lately you're forgetting who you are.

Your brother came out on your family's throne, trying to look like he was Takeda Takahashi!

So unless you've got a yummy younger brother, I think you'd better run! Better run! Banshee! I am.

'Cause I've got 99 red balloons, biatch, and I dare you to take one!

Joker (2nd Verse)
Go back in your well, you giggling sewer ginger!

You could lose to a turtle that isn't even a ninja!

When I flow, I go my dad go with ill zingers!

I steal the show like how Kane stole from the Undertaker! Ha-ha-ha!

I spit acid, be wowed! Every joke of mine stings! Yours stink!

You're three night lights in a cloud beat by a freaking kid! I don't think I've seen stranger things!

When I compare your antics to the fiendish schemes I revel in,

They pale, like the moonlight you can dance with the devil in.

Pennywise (2nd Verse)
Pennywise likes Lord Shinnek, we have so much fun together.

But no one's dying to play with Joker, except for maybe that kunt Ultor!

Puddin', you're an embarrassment to us clowns, I'll beat you like Harley Quinn beats you!

That purple suit is something you should only see James Gabriel in!

Ah, hahahaha! I feast on your fears! Like how D'Vorah feasts on your guts!

I'm the Derry! Main attraction every 27 years.

But you know what? I have a secret. It's like a very special toy.

If you wanna kill Batman, eat him when he's just a boy.

Joker (3rd Verse)
I'll lay more than a finger on the bat, you little freak!

But I'll spend a whole week knocking out those prickle teeth! He-he-he!

I'll tell you something for your next horror scene:

How about a little more PG and a lot less 13?!

Even I wouldn't stoop to that kind of impropriety! You pedo! You cannibal!

This is Earth, you space demon. We don't have to live in a Catholic society! Ha-ha-ha! Hahahaha!

I've seen your documentaries so I know you don't hurry!

But I'll shoot you down the drain so fast, they'll call you Tim Scurry!

Ask Victor Zsasz if I drop bars! I take smiles and I leave scars! I rape blacks and take their scarfs!

Guards at Arkham will admit that the Joker just killed IT! Ha-ha-ha!

IT (3rd Verse)
Arkham?! Ha! They stole that from the Dixmor Asylum!

Who needs guards when you couldn't even escape Hush's moustache?

You jester, I'd work for Barzinis, about to assassinate my own Fortunato!

And seal this battle up like it was the Cask of Amontillado!

Woo! I spit Veganuary ember flames! Woo! You got beat by the Scooby Gang! Woo! WOOOO!!!!

I'm the Professor Perry of modern times, the underground Clown Posse, my flow's insane!

I'm the poster boy for missing persons posters, Joker's gonna float with me!

'Cause he just messed with the best wall-eyed rapper since the Notorious B.I.G.! Wu-ha-ha!

And raper.

Poll
Who won? Teh Joker Clown IT

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